Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we decide to get National Enquirer instead of some of the other rags because a reader requested it last week and it feels good to grant a wish. This week, Miley is pregnant in the U.S.A., Portia dumped Ellen, and Eva married Ryan.
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we learn from our mistakes and return to the traditional format after a well-intentioned though poorly executed attempt at a tabloid Q&A. This week, Mila Kunis is pregnant with twins, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are THIS close to getting a divorce, and JonBenet Ramsey is incapable of…
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we decide to make this installment a little more interactive by using Kinja’s Q&A system to answer all of your most burning questions about this week’s hottest goss, which includes: Prince’s alleged suicide note, Gwen and Blake’s alleged wedding, Katie and Jamie’s alleged wedding, and
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we honestly cannot take any precious time to write a satisfactory introduction because there is something super important we need to discuss. This week, Tom is leaving his church, Jennifer Aniston is preg, and the best story of all time.
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we think we know, but—in fact—we have no idea. This week, Amber Heard is pregnant with Johnny Depp’s baby, Khloe Kardashian is pregnant with ????’s baby, Prince Harry is moving to the States, and Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are leaving their spouses...for each other?!?!?!?!
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we buy three tabloids because the goss is too depressing to read four times in a row.
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we flip through the tabloids while thinking about other things, like what to get for lunch, which—seeing as how I have no leftovers in the office fridge nor the appetite for something healthy like a salad—will likely be in the form of a burrito bowl from the fast-casual chain of all…
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we approach the counter of our new magazine store, ask the friendly man to unbox this week’s tabloids, wait patiently as he finds them, and are given a funny look after telling him that, no, we have no interest in purchasing People or Us Weekly, and that Star, In Touch, OK!, and Life…
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we discover a new magazine store within walking distance of our office (the old one was several stops away on a very annoying train), enter it, notice the magazines are all old, ask the friendly old man if this week’s tabs have come in, are told they’re in the back, and follow him to…
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we sift through the tales of our favorite (and least favorite) celebrities’ rumored despair in the hopes that we’ll feel better about our lives. Like, oh, I’ve been pretty stressed lately and my face is breaking out and also my bank account has been sort of sad since tax season ended,…
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we return to the more exciting tabloids after taking a week off to read two unbearably boring interviews with Jennifer Aniston and Hillary Clinton.
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we go to the magazine store and notice that the classy magazines are more interesting than the trashy ones, swap out In Touch and Life & Style for People and Us, walk to the counter, notice the man behind it can tell something’s off, and feel sort of thrilled about breaking a routine.
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we accept an unknown amount of money to read a book in the park beside a prominently displayed box of Zyrtec, and thank fans who compliment us online.
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we find ourselves slightly disappointed by the tabloids because last week’s were so much fun, but sort of happy to see surprising names like “Audrey Faith Perry Hill” on the cover of Star.
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we receive word that Kris Jenner’s nose is falling off, run to Ace Hardware, buy some spackle, a joint knife, duct tape, Gorilla Glue, and book a first class ticket—expensed to Jezebel—to LAX, where we take an Uber Black all the way to Kris Jenner’s home in Calabasas. “Let me in!” we…
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we have a hard time deciding between a headline about the Duggars and a headline about Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx, but ultimately decide to give it to the Duggars because Katie and Jamie are boring as hell—secret wedding or not.
Welcome to Midweek Madness where we get a call from Us Weekly, are told to provide a list of 25 things people don’t know about us, and tell them our daughters’ favorite game is “Attack the Daddy.”
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we read a headline about Justin Bieber impregnating Kourtney Kardashian, throw up our breakfast, shamefully clean up our desk, throw up again after being reminded of the pregnancy, and decide to keep working from the vomit-covered desk because nothing matters now that the plot of …
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we head to the cemetery with a Ouija board with Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, and unsuccessfully try to contact the spirit of Dear Johnny, after which we go back to LA and get dinner with them and Kate Hudson, who Snapchats the whole thing.
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we continue last week’s format and break down the “news” by topic—not magazine—because it’s what I feel like doing. This week, conflicting reports of Kimye/Gwake splits, identical reports of Bennifer 2.0's reconciliation, and an irritating disconnect between cover headline and inside…
