This Week In Tabloids: George Clooney's Sperm Aren't Pranking Amal!

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we celebrate Earth Day by digging a hole behind the HOLLYWOOD sign and filling it with a year’s worth of tabloids, then watch it grow into a mighty, shade-giving tabloid tree. This week: George Clooney is ready to have children with Amal, Khloe Kardashian is read to have children… » 4/22/15 3:50pm Wednesday 3:50pm

This Week In Tabloids: Sofia Vergara's On An Embryo-Destroying Rampage

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we fly to Los Angeles, rent a car at LAX, drive to Calabasas to find those salads the Kardashians are always eating, have one for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, drive back to LAX, and fly home. This week: Bruce will hate Kris for the rest of time, one busy man impregnated… » 4/15/15 3:30pm 4/15/15 3:30pm

This Week In Tabloids: Jennifer Aniston Is More Pregnant Than Ever

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we cover our favorite tabloids in Post-Its and highlighter ink and never ever confuse Life & Style with People because honestly they are so different that I don’t even know where to begin. This week: Kanye dumped Kim AGAIN, Scott seduced Kendall, Kate Middleton is fourfiveseconds… » 4/08/15 4:30pm 4/08/15 4:30pm

This Week In Tabloids: Kim Doesn't Give a Single Fuck If Rob Dies

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we call the corners (North=Star, South=OK!, East=InTouch, West=Life & Style) and assume all the powers of Kris Jenner until eventually losing our minds and thinking we’re flying. This week: George and Amal are divorcing, Kim and Kylie are pregnant, Bradley and Jennifer are sending… » 4/01/15 4:00pm 4/01/15 4:00pm

This Week in Tabloids: Tom Cruise Hasn't Seen Suri in 540 Days

Welcome to Midweek Madness, in which two 30-year-old blondes have a passive-aggressive conversation after their Pilates class where one's like, "Oh, you're so good for going twice today, I usually do that but I had my baby shower" and the other's like, "Oh my god but I'm normally so bad, I just went twice because… » 3/25/15 4:00pm 3/25/15 4:00pm

This Week in Tabloids: Kate & Queen Locked in Flaming Hell-War of Egos

Welcome to Midweek Madness, in which a Slinky filled with loose Dayquil capsules falls down a fire escape in Soho and lands in a pile of discarded fake eyelashes outside an embarrassingly aggressive club. I'm your host, the one you thought you got rid of. This week, we'll learn all about how Leo dissed Rihanna, Kim… » 2/25/15 4:10pm 2/25/15 4:10pm

This Week In Tabloids: Kendall Is Having Scott's Baby, Isn't Sorry

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we open our giant woman-hearts and flex those empathy muscles on made-up stories about symmetrical millionaires we've never met. This week: George dumps Amal on her birthday, Scott Disick is sleeping with Khloé Kardashian and asked a waitress to suck on his toes, Scott Disick has… » 2/18/15 4:10pm 2/18/15 4:10pm

This Week In Tabloids: Jessica Simpson Bloodies Husband With Handbag 

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where I scoot over to Mulberry Iconic Magazines and smile big and hold out my widdle hands and a kind man hands me four magazines, all featuring an identical advertisement for The Voice on the back cover. This week: Bruce Jenner might be going to prison; Bachelor Chris struggled with his… » 2/11/15 5:15pm 2/11/15 5:15pm

This Week In Tabloids: Bruce Jenner Is Like, 'Call Me Belinda!'

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we hunch over a boiling cauldron, tirelessly stirring a thick, frothing stew of Kardashian sweat and Ansel Elgort's baby teeth on an endless loop until brunch, finally, is served. "I just want a bite!" we lie. This week: Kris Jenner is determined to make money off Bruce's transition;… » 2/04/15 5:35pm 2/04/15 5:35pm

This Week In Tabloids: Kendall Jenner and Lord Disick Are Doing Sex

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we crush our birth control pills into a fine dust and release them into the Santa Ana winds, howling the ancient words (inTouch, OK!, Life & Style, Star, Us Weekly) under the light of the moon. This week: the Kardashian family has imploded, Selena Gomez is pregs via Zedd but pining… » 1/28/15 5:30pm 1/28/15 5:30pm

This Week In Tabloids: Rihanna Says Leo Is 'The Best She's Ever Had'

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we open our tiny beaks as one to accept a regurgitated gluten-free salad of Lisa Rinna's discarded saline injections. This week: Amal and George are DUNZO YOU GUYS, Scott dumped Kourtney for booze & pills, K-Stew is settling into a "funky" lesbian lifestyle with her future wife, two… » 1/21/15 5:10pm 1/21/15 5:10pm

This Week In Tabloids: Bruce Jenner Photoshopped Into Contoured Lady

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we frantically shovel the crumpled up pages of inTouch, OK!, Life & Style, Star, and Us Weekly into our gaping food-holes until, ink-stained and up-to-date on human stuff, we are sated. This week: InTouch grabbed some pals of Bruce Jenner to crowdsource a photoshopped image of what he… » 1/14/15 4:40pm 1/14/15 4:40pm

This Week in Tabloids: The Queen to Kate: 'Bitch Y Aren't U Fat Yet'

Welcome to Midweek Madness, in which a monkey who lives behind a dive bar in a tourist town in Costa Rica makes a Zen garden out of cigarette ash in the parking lot and rakes it back and forth very slowly until he dies. This week, Pitbull tryna get it in with J.Lo, Scarlett Johansson likes to have sex in cars, Scott… » 1/07/15 4:20pm 1/07/15 4:20pm

This Week in Tabloids: Taylor Swift & Karlie Kloss in Super Sexy Love

Welcome to Midweek Madness, in which a goat wearing novelty sunglasses climbs to the top of the Empire State Building and whispers "CELEBRITY" before plummeting down to the ground. This week, Miley Cyrus made her wedding rings out of rolling papers; Kendall Jenner is getting ready to play The Most Dangerous Game;… » 12/17/14 3:45pm 12/17/14 3:45pm

This Week In Tabloids: Ariana Grande Makes Staff Carry Her Like a Baby

In this week's Midweek Madness, Angelina Jolie is in love with someone who is not Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston is reaching out, Miley Cyrus is pregnant with a Kennedy baby and/or the coke bloats and Justin Bieber's former pet monkey is not in a forgiving mood. Onward and downward, chums! Straight into the fiery pits… » 12/10/14 3:50pm 12/10/14 3:50pm

This Week In Tabloids: Miley's Coke Parties Have Offended the Kennedys

Welcome back to Midweek Madness where each week we dip a toe into the shit pool known as Hollywood! Today, Kim and Kanye are headed towards ruin, Channing Tatum is trying to Magic Mike his way into another baby and Kate Middleton has exposed herself as a psychic and possible Grand Supreme. Cut with the hesitation,… » 12/03/14 5:10pm 12/03/14 5:10pm

This Week in Tabloids: Taylor Swift and Harry Styles Are BFFLs Again

Welcome to Midweek Madness, in which a small blue choo-choo train gets halfway to Los Angeles and is like, "You know, I'd rather not." This week, Kim Kardashian's ass is as wide as 9 Big Macs, JLaw worries that someone's going to leak a sex tape, and Amanda Seyfried's dog won't stop taking dumps. » 11/19/14 4:30pm 11/19/14 4:30pm