This Week In Tabloids: No One Can Make Up Good Lies About Amal Clooney

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we get invited to leave Earth on a spaceship that will take us far away from all of this celebrity gossip. We pack our bags, say goodbye to our friends and families, hop on board the ship, and lift off into space. After months of hurtling through the void in which all things float, we… » 5/27/15 4:10pm Wednesday 4:10pm

This Week In Tabloids: Brad Pitt Is a Fan of Having Sex With Men

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we impulse buy a first class ticket to Nice, take a train to Cannes, crash the red carpet, and scream compliments at Cate Blanchett until we are thrown into the sea by her bodyguards. Today, Justin dumped Jen after a 990-day engagement, Kylie is still pregnant, Kourtney is mad at… » 5/20/15 4:00pm 5/20/15 4:00pm

This Week In Tabloids: Kim Kardashian Is Pregnant and It's a Boy!

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we deal with the summer heat by drinking a ton of iced coffee but then we have to pull over in the middle of nowhere to use the bathroom so we knock on the door of the nearest home and realize that we’re at Bucklebury Manor and they let us use their bathroom but we have to walk… » 5/13/15 4:00pm 5/13/15 4:00pm

This Week In Tabloids: The Jenners Need to Lock Their Bedroom Doors!

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we take photos of ourselves for 10 years and then put them together in a 455-page book meant to be displayed on the coffee tables of complete strangers. Today we’ll be taking selfies with headlines about Kris Jenner being caught in bed with Lamar Odom, Kourtney getting her body back… » 5/06/15 3:00pm 5/06/15 3:00pm

This Week In Tabloids: Brad Got Naked With Someone Who Wasn't Angie 

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we fly to London, put up a tent outside St. Mary’s Hospital, drape ourselves in the flag, and keep making signs that say things like “HERE COMES NUMBER 2!” and “KATE, YOU’RE DOING GREAT!” and “KEEP CALM AND PUSH ON!” until someone in the Royal Family buys us breakfast. Today we’ll be… » 4/29/15 3:20pm 4/29/15 3:20pm

This Week In Tabloids: George Clooney's Sperm Aren't Pranking Amal!

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we celebrate Earth Day by digging a hole behind the HOLLYWOOD sign and filling it with a year’s worth of tabloids, then watch it grow into a mighty, shade-giving tabloid tree. This week: George Clooney is ready to have children with Amal, Khloe Kardashian is read to have children… » 4/22/15 3:50pm 4/22/15 3:50pm

This Week In Tabloids: Sofia Vergara's On An Embryo-Destroying Rampage

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we fly to Los Angeles, rent a car at LAX, drive to Calabasas to find those salads the Kardashians are always eating, have one for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, drive back to LAX, and fly home. This week: Bruce will hate Kris for the rest of time, one busy man impregnated… » 4/15/15 3:30pm 4/15/15 3:30pm

This Week In Tabloids: Jennifer Aniston Is More Pregnant Than Ever

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we cover our favorite tabloids in Post-Its and highlighter ink and never ever confuse Life & Style with People because honestly they are so different that I don’t even know where to begin. This week: Kanye dumped Kim AGAIN, Scott seduced Kendall, Kate Middleton is fourfiveseconds… » 4/08/15 4:30pm 4/08/15 4:30pm

This Week In Tabloids: Kim Doesn't Give a Single Fuck If Rob Dies

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we call the corners (North=Star, South=OK!, East=InTouch, West=Life & Style) and assume all the powers of Kris Jenner until eventually losing our minds and thinking we’re flying. This week: George and Amal are divorcing, Kim and Kylie are pregnant, Bradley and Jennifer are sending… » 4/01/15 4:00pm 4/01/15 4:00pm

This Week in Tabloids: Tom Cruise Hasn't Seen Suri in 540 Days

Welcome to Midweek Madness, in which two 30-year-old blondes have a passive-aggressive conversation after their Pilates class where one's like, "Oh, you're so good for going twice today, I usually do that but I had my baby shower" and the other's like, "Oh my god but I'm normally so bad, I just went twice because… » 3/25/15 4:00pm 3/25/15 4:00pm

This Week in Tabloids: Kate & Queen Locked in Flaming Hell-War of Egos

Welcome to Midweek Madness, in which a Slinky filled with loose Dayquil capsules falls down a fire escape in Soho and lands in a pile of discarded fake eyelashes outside an embarrassingly aggressive club. I'm your host, the one you thought you got rid of. This week, we'll learn all about how Leo dissed Rihanna, Kim… » 2/25/15 4:10pm 2/25/15 4:10pm

This Week In Tabloids: Kendall Is Having Scott's Baby, Isn't Sorry

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we open our giant woman-hearts and flex those empathy muscles on made-up stories about symmetrical millionaires we've never met. This week: George dumps Amal on her birthday, Scott Disick is sleeping with Khloé Kardashian and asked a waitress to suck on his toes, Scott Disick has… » 2/18/15 4:10pm 2/18/15 4:10pm

This Week In Tabloids: Jessica Simpson Bloodies Husband With Handbag 

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where I scoot over to Mulberry Iconic Magazines and smile big and hold out my widdle hands and a kind man hands me four magazines, all featuring an identical advertisement for The Voice on the back cover. This week: Bruce Jenner might be going to prison; Bachelor Chris struggled with his… » 2/11/15 5:15pm 2/11/15 5:15pm

This Week In Tabloids: Bruce Jenner Is Like, 'Call Me Belinda!'

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we hunch over a boiling cauldron, tirelessly stirring a thick, frothing stew of Kardashian sweat and Ansel Elgort's baby teeth on an endless loop until brunch, finally, is served. "I just want a bite!" we lie. This week: Kris Jenner is determined to make money off Bruce's transition;… » 2/04/15 5:35pm 2/04/15 5:35pm

This Week In Tabloids: Kendall Jenner and Lord Disick Are Doing Sex

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we crush our birth control pills into a fine dust and release them into the Santa Ana winds, howling the ancient words (inTouch, OK!, Life & Style, Star, Us Weekly) under the light of the moon. This week: the Kardashian family has imploded, Selena Gomez is pregs via Zedd but pining… » 1/28/15 5:30pm 1/28/15 5:30pm

This Week In Tabloids: Rihanna Says Leo Is 'The Best She's Ever Had'

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we open our tiny beaks as one to accept a regurgitated gluten-free salad of Lisa Rinna's discarded saline injections. This week: Amal and George are DUNZO YOU GUYS, Scott dumped Kourtney for booze & pills, K-Stew is settling into a "funky" lesbian lifestyle with her future wife, two… » 1/21/15 5:10pm 1/21/15 5:10pm