HOLLYWOOD, CA - MAY 07: Actress Michelle Pfeiffer (L) and actor Johnny Depp arrive at the premiere of Warner Bros. Pictures' 'Dark Shadows' at Grauman's Chinese Theatre on May 7, 2012 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

In an interview with Parade, Michelle Pfeiffer (who is lovely) attempts to convince the world that her new movie Dark Shadows is not the latter-day Burton/Depp self-indulgent cinematic queef you think it is. Or wait, it is. But this is a good part:

[On the set of New Year's Eve, the likely vom-com from the people who gave you Valentine's Day. This darker hair is reminiscent of Married To The Mob, is it not? New York, February 23. Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]

Between Christian Bale's turn as a slapstick Jesus, whatever the hell was going on with Helena Bonham Carter, and one celebrity's areola on display, there was a lot to take in during the subtle moments of last night's Golden Globes.

Michelles turn heads with their elegance — even when they're wearing acid-washed jeans.

This fall, MoMA is inviting art lovers to consider the work of the contemporary mixed-media artist who brought us PeeWee's Big Adventure, and the sight of an entire dinner party singing Harry Belafonte's Banana Boat song: Tim Burton.

Earlier this week, I went to a Women And Hollywood screening of Chéri and afterward, there was a panel discussion about cougars, roles for "older" actresses, and why Oscar-nominated actress Michelle Pfeiffer has to compete with Megan Fox.

"There's this tremendous pressure off [after age 50] – you deserve to have a wrinkle, you deserve to have a little pooch on your tummy." And! "I so hate the term cougar!" — Michelle Pfeiffer, to In Style. [Just Jared]

[New York, June 16. Image via INF]

[Berlin, February 10. Image via Flynet]

*Inspired by Shirley MacLaine's assertion that the best parts for actresses fall into one of the above categories.

[Vancouver, British Columbia; December 3. Image via Flynet]

['Hairspray' premiere, Los Angeles; July 10. Image via Bauer-Griffin]