Nancy Pelosi's Response to Michele Bachmann Is the Best Thing Ever

Following today's DOMA ruling, Congresswoman/jewel-eyed snow witch Michele Bachmann released the following statement:

Following today's DOMA ruling, Congresswoman/jewel-eyed snow witch Michele Bachmann released the following statement:
Just when you think you can ease back into your seat and exhale as the end credits roll on the horror movie that was the Republican primary, Michelle Bachmann's fingernails slashes across the screen, making you spill popcorn everywhere. That's right — Bachmann, who had bowed out of the GOP race long ago, is back...on …
As a part of a conspiracy to bring together all of the things you hate most, here's footage from the Michelle Bachmann campaign trail (RIP) of the lady herself dancing to the Train hit "Hey, Soul Sister." Wait for the next video to drop in which Newt Gingrich does a dramatic reading of I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell.
A month after Michelle Bachmann's campaign manager departed, pollster Ed Goeas and senior advisor Andy Parrish have given their two weeks notice. Bachmann's remaining staffers insist that this isn't a sign that she's having trouble finding donors, or that the nation's fling with the slightly more credible but equally…
There was a kinder, gentler time when Twiggy's bob, Farrah Fawcett's feathered look, "The Rachel," or even Bieber's side-swept bangs were requested at hair salons. But those days, all of them, have passed. Now our nation is demanding the "Bachmann Bob." Because one woman's heinous politics certainly doesn't preclude…
As of this posting, it's unclear whether if Toots Sweet is trying to get his tribute song endorsed by the Bachmann clan or if he's just trying to recreate the same magic that Obama Girl did years ago. Either way, here's a completely-serious tribute to the Tea Party's #1 gal, set to the tune of "You Ain't Seen…
You can't blame people for forgoing substance in favor of salmon and Bachmann's crazy-eye, given how canned and theatrical the State of the Union is and was (unless you consider Tom Friedman-esque rhetoric a policy direction). Let's take stock.
This Michelle Bachmann parody helps us finally understand what Bachmann meant when she said not all cultures are equal: the scent of "Mooslim" cab drivers, and what happens when black people get dry skin. [Earlier,YouTube]
The Politico points to the Environmental Working Group's analysis of federal agricultural subsidies. The big winners? "The Bachmann family farm, managed by her father-in-law until his recent death, received $251,000" over a ten year period. [Politico]
According to a new poll, a majority of Republicans either believe in or aren't sure about whether Obama's health plan will create "death panels." Maybe because their leaders are unrepentant demagogues who cheerfully stoke their fears.
Stupid Intentions has figured out a (not at all) useful way to recycle your old vibrator: repurpose it as a "popcorn sorter."•
Last night's White House-hosted Congressional luau featured a dunk tank — and, even better, Rahm Emanuel on the hot seat! Gawker's Alex Pareene and I discuss that, fat-bottomed girls, Governor Mark Sanford and Michelle Bachmann's special brand of crazy.