Will Mermaid Replace Vampire as #1 Ambiguously-Sexual Mystical Beast?

Ugh, vampires have been lurking and staring and silently inhaling ravioli fumes on dates with high school-aged human women for, like, years now. We are all tired of it. It's about time for a sea change in the Sexy Mystical Young Adult Fiction Love Interest landscape. In this instance, "sea change" literally means… »8/01/13 7:45pm8/01/13 7:45pm

Everyone is Obsessed with People Who Are Obsessed With Being Mermaids

Obviously people want to be mermaids, even if the government says they don't exist. They look like people but have glittery tails. Some of them were called Sirens and had the power to control men with their sexiness. They can breathe underwater. And they are probably related to/actually are manatees, the best animal… »7/05/13 5:45pm7/05/13 5:45pm

Government Agency Destroys Our Dreams by Revealing That Mermaids Aren’t Real

Here's some sad news, you guys: Mermaids don't actually exist. I know, I know, we've spent all that time that Splash was a documentary, but no, mermaids are nothing but a figment of our collective imagination. How do we know (except for, you know, already knowing)? Because the National Ocean Service, a part of the… »7/04/12 11:55pm7/04/12 11:55pm

Here's That New Nonsensical Courtney Stodden Commercial You Didn't Ask For

Obviously asking logical questions is pointless in this scenario, but I can't help myself: Why would a mermaid exclaim "I'm so wet"? Don't they spend their lives in the sea? And where do mermaids shop for their underwire bras? And are we actually supposed to feel confident giving our personal financial information… »2/08/12 12:00pm2/08/12 12:00pm