Cathy Ridge, of West Cobb, Ga., touches an American flag at the grave of her husband, retired U.S. Marine Gunnery Sgt. Charles Edward Ridge, Monday, May 28, 2012, at the Georgia National Cemetery in Canton, Ga. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

Hey, dudes: Memorial Day, arguably the most romantic holiday of the year (although Arbor Day and International Tuba Day are also conducive to getting your fuck on), is fast approaching, and it is time for you to select a gift for the lady in your life. What better gift than this undeniably labial-looking Amazonian…

[Arlington, Virginia; May 31. Image via Getty]

[South Beach, May 29. Image via Bob B. Brown on Flickr.]

[Washington, D.C., May 30. Image via AP.]

[Washington, D.C., May 30. Image via AP.]

There are two things I know for certain about my grandfather: that he fought in the Battle of Okinawa in World War Two, and that his favorite movie was "The Day the Earth Stood Still."

[Annapolis, Maryland. May 22. Image via Getty.]

Attention readers: We will be posting on a shortened schedule today, tomorrow and Sunday. On Monday, the site will go dark completely, except in the case of breaking news. A happy, safe holiday to everyone.

Memorial Day weekend message: We will be posting on shortened schedules tomorrow and over the weekend, and the site will go dark completely on Monday. Speaking of holidays: Today is our second birthday. Terrible twos - and Champagne toasts - here we come.