This Ad Is Very Proud of How Diverse it Is
Would you buy lamb if a cis white dude wasn’t selling it to you?
Chicken Is a Bad Meat
A lot of people say that chicken is a good meat, but they are wrong. It is a bad meat.
This Meat Vending Machine Is Very Good
Have you ever been walking a dog or commuting home and thought, “I need three to four slices of ham or I’ll die?” For me, that happens everyday. Same for people in Paris. So much so that two entrepreneurial residents have begun installing vending machines throughout the city filled with vacuum-packed meat.
My Continued Efforts to Cook Meat Without Making Myself Sick
Welcome to Better Than It Looks, a series in which we discuss the recipes we tried (and maybe failed) to execute, and the foods that were served to us by someone perhaps more talented than ourselves. This week: two different adventures with meat.
Li'l Ponies Raised for Food Slaughter Now Getting Killed by Cars
Dartmoor National Park in southwestern England is home to the Dartmoor pony—a cute, fluffy-looking breed with short legs and broad faces. Sadly, these sweet li’l horsies are at risk thanks to an increase in motor vehicle accidents and, well, other things...
Ex-Congressman: Study that Found Meat-Cancer Link Is a Liberal Plot to Take My Barbecue Away
In 2012, incumbent Florida Congressman Allen West was unseated by slightly more than 2,000 votes in the most expensive congressional race in history to date. Since then, he’s somehow managed to find the time to write a book called Guardian of the Republic, appear frequently on Fox News, and now—thank bearded Christian…
Study Claims Vegetarians Secretly Eat Meat While Drunk
According to a recent study, vegetarians have confessed to eating meat after a night of drinking. VoucherCodesPro, a UK-based discount code provider, conducted a survey of more than 1,700 British vegetarians who revealed they chow down on meat when they drink too much alcohol. Don’t tell Morrissey about this!
Chris Hemsworth Is So Big He Dwarfs Normal-Sized Penises
Chris Hemsworth, Australian hamburger, has a cameo in the new Vacation reboot as Leslie Mann’s nearly-naked, ultra-well-endowed husband. According to the movie’s writer-directors John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein, the process of equipping Hemsworth with his giant movie shlong was vaguely traumatizing.
'If I Could Just Get Some Giraffe Meat': Hannibal's Food Stylist Speaks
Hannibal was recently cancelled by NBC, putting an ailing show out of its misery, as well as those of us who knew it started flailing after its first season yet were forced to read endless television critics blathering on about its supposed brilliance. (Seriously, guys; all the dark lighting and creepy sound effects…
If We Don't Cut Back On Eating Meat, We're Screwed
Americans love meat, and for good reason: meat is delicious. So very, very delicious. Just one problem: our national and increasingly global meat addiction is going to destroy us as a species if we don’t find a way to rein it in.
Brilliant Work of Art Proves Raw Meat Is Great at Using Tinder
In just two and a half years, Tinder has gone from quirky new app to one of the biggest online dating services in the world. Hilary Duff uses it. Leonardo DiCaprio uses it. “Swipe left” and “swipe right” have become synonymous with rejection and approval. And now it’s become the inspiration for Tender - a gorgeous and…
John Oliver Tackles the Crushing Debt Piled on America's Chicken Farmers
John Oliver’s long segment last night dealt with the lives of American chicken farmers, which are, unsurprisingly, almost as bad as the lives of the chickens themselves.
Supermarket Meats Are Giving Us Drug Resistant UTIs
Just in case you needed more to be afraid of in life, urinary tract infections are becoming more and more resistant to antibiotics used to treat them and have the potential to become life threatening bloodstream infections. Oh, and there's a good chance people are getting at least some of these infections from the…
Fox Hosts Agree: 'Meatless Mondays' Is Liberal Propaganda
Because a real American patriot has a colon full of red, white, and blue polyps, the Mensa panel over at Fox & Friends have declared "meatless Mondays" for kids a form of liberal propaganda.
4,000 Pounds of Beef Recalled for Mad Cow Disease, Some at Whole Foods
Another day, another two tons of beef-meat riddled with brain-eating prions! The USDA has ordered a recall of over 4,000 pounds of beef because of a "remote" risk of mad cow disease contamination. Some of the beef—which is in the form of bone-in ribeye roasts—was being sold at Whole Foods. Just another reminder that…
Meaty New Study Plunges 'Steak' into 'Vegetarians are Healthier' Lie
Tired of all those studies that claim that being a vegetarian is healthier/will save the environment or whatever? You're in luck, blessed carnivores, for Austria's Medical University of Graz has published a study concluding that vegetarians in fact are less healthy and have a lower quality of life than us normals.…
Watch This Woman Devour a 4.5 Pound Steak in Under 3 Minutes
Good news, everyone: women have finally gnawed our way through the meat ceiling. Specifically, competitive eater Molly Schuyler has set a new world record after consuming an entire 72 oz. steak in under three minutes. The previous record, held by some dude, was 6 minutes and 48 seconds. GIRL POWER.
New Meat Recall Threatening to Ruin Your Holiday Meat Party
Yauk's Specialty Meats, a Colorado "meat firm" is recalling more than 90,000 pounds of meat products because they were produced "under unsanitary conditions, including rodent activity in the production, storage and retail areas of the property."
'Controversial Slaughterhouse' Recalls Plastic-Filled Beef
Is it just me, or is the phrase "controversial slaughterhouse" the most terrifying combination of words in the English language? Can we get that on the books somehow? It's impressive, really.
The In Vitro Burger is Here and it Tastes Like a 'Protein Cake'
As someone who has spent a small eternity inside of a White Castle at 2 am, I know the pains of waiting an extremely long time for a slab of seasoned ground-up meat. And now I can breathe a sigh of relief: the longest meat-wait in recent memory is finally over. After five years of research and months in the lab, the…
