Supermarket Meats Are Giving Us Drug Resistant UTIs

Just in case you needed more to be afraid of in life, urinary tract infections are becoming more and more resistant to antibiotics used to treat them and have the potential to become life threatening bloodstream infections. Oh, and there's a good chance people are getting at least some of these infections from the… » 10/14/14 4:50pm 10/14/14 4:50pm

Fox Hosts Agree: 'Meatless Mondays' Is Liberal Propaganda

Because a real American patriot has a colon full of red, white, and blue polyps, the Mensa panel over at Fox & Friends have declared "meatless Mondays" for kids a form of liberal propaganda. » 9/15/14 12:40pm 9/15/14 12:40pm

4,000 Pounds of Beef Recalled for Mad Cow Disease, Some at Whole Foods

Another day, another two tons of beef-meat riddled with brain-eating prions! The USDA has ordered a recall of over 4,000 pounds of beef because of a "remote" risk of mad cow disease contamination. Some of the beef—which is in the form of bone-in ribeye roasts—was being sold at Whole Foods. Just another reminder that… » 6/13/14 6:50pm 6/13/14 6:50pm

Meaty New Study Plunges 'Steak' into 'Vegetarians are Healthier' Lie

Tired of all those studies that claim that being a vegetarian is healthier/will save the environment or whatever? You're in luck, blessed carnivores, for Austria's Medical University of Graz has published a study concluding that vegetarians in fact are less healthy and have a lower quality of life than us normals.… » 4/02/14 7:10pm 4/02/14 7:10pm

Watch This Woman Devour a 4.5 Pound Steak in Under 3 Minutes

Good news, everyone: women have finally gnawed our way through the meat ceiling. Specifically, competitive eater Molly Schuyler has set a new world record after consuming an entire 72 oz. steak in under three minutes. The previous record, held by some dude, was 6 minutes and 48 seconds. GIRL POWER. » 1/09/14 5:30pm 1/09/14 5:30pm

New Meat Recall Threatening to Ruin Your Holiday Meat Party

Yauk's Specialty Meats, a Colorado "meat firm" is recalling more than 90,000 pounds of meat products because they were produced "under unsanitary conditions, including rodent activity in the production, storage and retail areas of the property." » 12/10/13 12:40pm 12/10/13 12:40pm

'Controversial Slaughterhouse' Recalls Plastic-Filled Beef

Is it just me, or is the phrase "controversial slaughterhouse" the most terrifying combination of words in the English language? Can we get that on the books somehow? It's impressive, really. » 9/20/13 7:50pm 9/20/13 7:50pm

The In Vitro Burger is Here and it Tastes Like a 'Protein Cake'

As someone who has spent a small eternity inside of a White Castle at 2 am, I know the pains of waiting an extremely long time for a slab of seasoned ground-up meat. And now I can breathe a sigh of relief: the longest meat-wait in recent memory is finally over. After five years of research and months in the lab, … » 8/05/13 10:25am 8/05/13 10:25am

Crazy Expensive In Vitro Burger Sounds Weird, Tastes 'Reasonably Good'

People! We are living in the future. Scientists are working on growing hamburger in a lab. It's sometimes referred to as shmeat, as in meat, shmeat. » 5/13/13 1:25pm 5/13/13 1:25pm

Dead Rats Being Sold as 'Lamb' in China

Today in [Honey Boo Boo dry-heaving gif], it turns out that delicious lamb gyro you're eating might actually be ground-up, dyed rat butts sculpted into lamblike meat-shapes! Eat up! If you're in eastern China, that is, and you're in the habit of purchasing very, very tiny pieces of "mutton" from meat-smuggling… » 5/03/13 5:00pm 5/03/13 5:00pm

Your Stupid Gut Wants to Kill Your Dumb Heart

Maybe you want to hold off on having that Burger King delivered to your home (it's a thing now, lord help us), because your gut's lust for garbage meats might be breaking your health nut heart. » 4/26/13 9:30am 4/26/13 9:30am

Science Finally Has Good Health News! Red Meat Will Totally, Probably…

When news of a fancypants, cosmopolitan European study about the imminent health dangers of using your stomach as a processed meats repository, you most likely reacted the same way you do to all breaking-news health reports: you panicked, impetuously removing all of the meat-stuffs from your fridge and tossing them… » 3/19/13 11:25am 3/19/13 11:25am

Illinois Finally Cracking Down on the Sale of African Lion Meat

At long last Illinois is considering legislation to deal with its disquieting lion meat problem. Oh, you weren't aware that folks in Illinois were tearing into huge lion rib eyes at Fourth of July barbecues, washing down the gamey taste of proud African wildcat with onomatopoetic soft drinks and A1? Then you, my poor,… » 3/10/13 12:00pm 3/10/13 12:00pm

South Africans Have Accidentally Been Eating Giraffe and Kangaroo Meat

Just to ensure that human beings have unknowingly consumed EVERY kind of animal who sings "Circle of Life" at the beginning of The Lion King, it looks like South Africans have inadvertently been munching on the horse's swaggier cousin, the zebra, as well as kangaroos and giraffes. Sigh. Just when we were getting över … » 3/02/13 2:00pm 3/02/13 2:00pm

Fuck Yes, I'll Eat Some Horse Meat. Give It to Me. I Love It.

Oh, POOH POOH, y'all. Pooh pooh. So we all ate a little bit of horse meat. So what. I mean, of course I'm all for proper, transparent food-labelage, and I'm certainly not PRO-non-consensual-mass-horse-meat-consumption. (This is not an article about whatever fucked-up mechanisms of food production got the horse meat… » 2/26/13 11:40am 2/26/13 11:40am

The 32 Biggest WTFs About the '32 Things Every Man Should Do'

Yes, yes, yes, I know there are a billion kooky subcultures floating around out there on the internet, most of which are incredibly offensive to human beings with clear eyes and full hearts, and ripping them to shreds on a widely read blog is the very easiest of all pickins. And I knooooooooow we shouldn't give… » 12/02/12 11:00am 12/02/12 11:00am

'Giblet' Is the Best Worst Word Ever

Thanksgiving, in addition to being America's most popular genocide-commemorating holiday, has the distinction of being the only day of the year when most of us have the the opportunity to utter the word "giblet" with impunity. Say it aloud. Giblet. It's a weird word, a weirder thing to put in your mouth and chew until… » 11/21/12 3:15pm 11/21/12 3:15pm

The Chinese Women's Olympic Volleyball Team Stopped Eating Meat… and…

The Chinese women's Olympic volleyball team allegedly didn't do so well in the recent FIVB World Grand Prix finals because they hadn't eaten meat for weeks. No, the women aren't PETA advocates; they're abstaining from meat because they're afraid to get any clenbuterol in their system. » 7/05/12 7:00pm 7/05/12 7:00pm

Pork Industry Booklet Will Teach Silly Ladies All About Grilling…

Hey, ladies! Know what's hard? Besides math and dicks? Grilling. Luckily, the Pork Information Bureau (which is a really a thing that exists) has released a helpful guide for women who are looking at big pieces of raw meat and they're all like "Huh?" this outdoor cooking season. Fire up your yogurt stilettos, gals!… » 7/02/12 6:20pm 7/02/12 6:20pm