The geniuses over at The Onion have done it again.

Earlier this month, Lupita Nyong'o landed a contract with Lancome; today British model Jourdan Dunn has signed a deal to be the spokeswoman for Maybelline. Great advancements for women of color in the beauty industry — and for consumers.

Much unlike many a magazine editor who recommends you buy all sorts of crap that they most likely got for free, your Jezebel staff doesn't get jack shit (other than books, unsolicited). And that's how it should be. But on our own time, in our personal lives, we still buy stuff. Thus we're introducing Worth It, a daily…

Britain's Advertising Standards Authority has banned two ads featuring Julia Roberts and Christy Turlington for misleading consumers by being overly airbrushed. It had to come to its conclusion without before-and-after shots, since apparently Roberts has stipulated in her contract that no unairbrushed shots can be…

• Meet Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom's 12-day-old son, Flynn! He weighed 9lbs 12oz at birth, and Kerr says passing that giant was "a long, arduous and difficult labour." She nonetheless said no thanks to pain meds. [Kerr's Blog]

• Bono and Ali Hewson star in the newest of Louis Vuitton's "core values" ads. The couple, who were shot in South Africa, wear clothing by Edun, Hewson's sustainable fashion line. LVMH owns 49% of the brand. [WWD]

• Bono's wife Ali Hewson is suing Stella McCartney over the title of her unreleased perfume, "Nude." Hewson, who also has a sustainable fashion brand, oversees Nude Skincare, and feels that McCartney's brand is too close to her own. [Daily Mail]

• L.A. boutique Kitson can't give away poor Lauren Conrad's collection. Well, they can, but not to customers. "They're giving away her collection to Caitlin's Closet, a charity that gives girls dresses for their big events, like the prom and homecoming." I have a terrible image of no one choosing her dresses for prom,…

The Sassybella blog has some great vintage commercials today: Maybelline's Dial-A-Lash mascara spot from 1982, and a 1970s Maybelline Waterbourne eye shadow ad. Dial-A-Lash mascara would excite gadget geeks: it was the only "adjustable mascara" with ten settings. "Dial it low for a light coat," the model explains.…

• Oh, Christ. There is going to be a Sex and the City lingerie line by Cosabella as a tie-in with the movie. Predictably, there will be four mini-lines, named after each of the four main characters on the show, meaning the "Samantha" line will be for the transgendered? Excellent. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• How did we not know that…