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Maxim

Photoshop Of Horrors A retoucher for Maxim Mexico went a little loco on this model's waist. The thing about it is that it's not just offensive for like obvious objectification reasons (because really, only objects like action figures or Barbies could ever be proportioned like that), but it's also just a completely piss poor job with the "liquify" tool. I took it upon myself to "fix" her waist, using the same liquify filter in Photoshop. (Click image to compare Maxim's version and Jezebel's version of this image.) [Photoshop Disasters]

Israeli photographer Rachel Papo has a book coming out, featuring her series on female soldiers called Serial No. 3817131. Papo was in the Israeli Air Force in the late 80s, and, according to a blurb on her publisher's website, her photos reveal "these young girls caught in transient moments of self-reflection and uncertainty, as if stuck in a state of contradiction. Rather than portraying the soldier as heroic, confident, or proud, Papo’s photographs reveal the soldier and the teenage girl in constant negotiation, caught between two extremes: a soldier who lives on an army base surrounded by hundreds just like her, but underneath her uniform, there is an individual who wishes to be noticed." Somehow, these women manage to explore their individuality without taking their clothes off, unlike the Israeli soldiers featured in Maxim this month. [Rachel Papo Official Site, Powerhouse Books via Jewcy]

Fertile Crescents You'd think that the occasion of Israel's 60th birthday would be enough to boost tourism, but you'd be wrong. In fact, the little country that could has taken to less-traditional means to raise awareness about how vacation-worthy it is: Participating in a sexy spread in American Maxim featuring women currently serving in the Israeli military. Women! Guns! Bikinis! (Is this why lobbyist groups are harping on Victoria's Secret model Bar Rafaeli to come back and fulfill her military service already?) Click on the picture to view a video about the story. [Reason]

dirt bag

Will Amy Sing At Mandela's Birthday Bash?

  • Nelson Mandela personally called Amy Winehouse and asked her to sing at his birthday party on June 27! The former president of South Africa phoned her! Bono, Elton John and Annie Lennox are expected to perform as well. This UK paper says,"Let's hope [Amy] bee-hives herself!" Yuk, yuk. [Mirror]
  • Meanwhile: Does Blake Incarcerated have a secret mistress? Is he plotting with the "mystery blonde" to run away with her — and a chunk of Amy's £10 million fortune? [The Sun]
  • Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are due in court today for a progress review. A completely uninformed opinion? She's doing better. [People]
  • Owen Wilson allegedly picked up some chick (not Kate Hudson) and invited her back to is boat and propositioned her to join him in a threesome with Vince Vaughn. There was a time that a Butterscotch Stallion/Money Baby sandwich would have been soooo hot, and that time was 2001. [Perez Hilton]
  • Britney's back at work on How I Met Your Mother. She looks cute dressed to match Neil Patrick Harris! [TMZ]
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idiot maximus

British Columnist Asks: Why Does Sarah Jessica Parker Care What Maxim Thinks?

So last year, Maxim named Sarah Jessica Parker the unsexiest woman alive. Recently, SJP responded to the unfortunate accolade, saying "It's so brutal in a way, so filled with rage and anger. It upset him [Matthew], because it has to do with his judgment too...Am I really the unsexiest women in the world? Wow! It's kind of shocking...It's condemnation, it's insane." Today, Guardian columnist Ariel Leve wonders why Parker let it bother her in the first place. "What makes no sense," Leve writes, "is how someone like Sarah Jessica Parker - such a sensible person - could take this Maxim list to heart? Why would she expect to fit the ideals of its audience?"
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Loose Lips Sarah Jessica Parker had this to say about being voted Maxim's Unsexiest Woman in the world: "It's so brutal in a way, so filled with rage and anger. It upset him [Matthew], because it has to do with his judgment too. Do I have big fake boobs, Botox and big lips? No. Do I fit some ideals and standards of some men writing in a men's magazine? Maybe not. Am I really the unsexiest women in the world? Wow! It's kind of shocking...It's condemnation, it's insane. What can I do? I guess you can't please all people." • Seal went off on the paparazzi last night outside Madeo restaurant, calling them "cockroaches" who "ruin people's lives." • Madonna and Guy Richie were spotted out on a very public dinner date, perhaps to rebut recent rumors about an imminent split between the couple? [DListed, TMZ, Page Six]

clips

Heidi Montag On Jimmy Kimmel Live: "I Pray For Lauren"

Famously fake-breasted Maxim cover girl Heidi Montag from The Hills was on Jimmy Kimmel last night to promote the magazine's February issue, as well as her single, which drops on iTunes on February 5. Apparently she co-wrote the song, which she describes as "really a piece of me", adding "it's about how you can't hold grudges. You can't waste your time looking back on the past and dwelling over things." Riiiiight. Because writing a thinly veiled song about your former best friend whom you love talking about in magazines, and on radio late night talk show interviews is really looking toward the future! Anyway, we're sure Lauren will be happy to hear that Heidi prays for her regularly. (What does that even mean? And do reality television fame whores living L.A. really pray for people? That shit's about as fake as her show!)

Sarah Jessica Parker, proclaimed ugly by every man I have ever known, was, as you all know, recently called downright "unsexy" by Maxim. But that feisty Carrie Bradshaw claims that she just don't give a fuck! Parker says that it doesn't matter if you're pretty or not, because we'll all be ugly eventually: "What they don't know is that one day I'll wake up fat. But I'll still be happy, just like I am now." Aw, how nice. Plus, there's the added bonus of cash! After all, as Parker also mentions, "I consider myself a working woman with a family, who is blessed enough to have the sort of job others would die for. How many women wouldn't want to step into the Manolos that are waiting for me... every morning?" SJP: We try really hard to like you. But we just can't. [Vogue UK]

the chosen ones

Maxim, Entertainment Weekly Agree: Jews, Blacks, Asians Not So "Sexy"

Collagen-and-silicone championing Maxim magazine has just named the world's five unsexiest women alive and according to the boy-mag brain trusts, the two most unfortunate looking ladies around are Sarah Jessica Parker and Amy Winehouse. Aside from shockingly-low BMIs, what do these women have in common? That's right, pronounced noses and Jewish heritage! (Although Parker is only a four-candler.) But Maxim isn't the only mass-market magazine with seemingly anti-ethnic standards of beauty: Entertainment Weekly just released its list of Ultimate Female Hotties and there's nary a chosen person to be seen (save bleach-blond halfsie Scarlett Johansson ). Not only that, but the magazine's list doesn't feature a single black or Asian woman. More »

maxim

'Maxim' Reader Hits Bottom, Alexyss Tylor Blames Forced Servitude

Maxim Online's resident sexpert Lindsay has received an interesting and pretty disturbing query from reader "Tra", who complains that "there are times during sex when, if I get it just right, I can feel something in my girlfriend sorta pop when I jam it all the way." More »

shock

The shocking truth.

shock.jpgOver at Fishbowl they've got a sneak preview of Shock magazine. More »