Amanda Bynes is threatening to sue In Touch for running "fake" photos of herself along with the exclusive interview she gave them: possibly part of a new game show called That's Not My Flophouse! Take my wife! Please!

So Lindsay Lohan asks to borrow a designer dress for the amFAR gala from stylist Phillip Bloch, whose number she got from Charlie Sheen. Is any part of what I just said a valid reason to hand over a $1,750 dress of intricate beadwork and gossamer fairy tits and silkworms that only eat free-range food and drink fair…

The universe works in mysterious ways, but occasionally a gear will click into place and simplify at least one aspect of your troubled adult existence. Examples: cheese going on fries, and the fact that Blair Waldorf and Seth Cohen are dating. See? Motherfucking TOLD YOU. It's like the plot of The Time Traveler's Wife…

Kristen Stewart has dropped out of Cali, the movie she was going to film with Alex Pettyfer, and will not show up to the premiere of On The Road. This is probably because her co-star in the Kerouac adaptation is Tom Sturridge, Friend Of R. Patz, which would admittedly be pretty awkward.

Everyone's learned to not dismiss the Enquirer when they talk Rielle Hunter. So when they dish on her "pursuing affairs" with movie stars — recently — we at least hear them out.

Today in Tweet Beat, Hef's twin girlfriends are "growing up" and moving on, Courtney Love is reaching out to Dr. Drew, Ice-T is pissed off about the late-night wars, and Wyclef is headed to Haiti.

Today in Tweet Beat, Eli Roth doesn't recommend glitter for men, Martha Stewart parties with Diddy, and Jon Favreau cuts his hair with a Flowbee.

Today in Tweet Beat, Tila Tequila is pleasantly surprised that her breasts can help others, Intervention's Ken Seeley tries hitting up Paris Hilton for some new clients, and Kim Zolciak believes she's being sabotaged.

• Michael Lohan says he knows who Lindsay's drug dealer is: