True, horny love can never, ever be stopped.

Axe™ is a brand of male perfume named after the tool with which most women would like to strike the young men who adorn themselves with Axe™. FYI, gentlemen, Axe™ is now about more than not getting laid.

Alright, I'm going to be honest—the robot sex we're about to talk about isn't the sexy Jude Law from AI Artificial Intelligence type. Nope, it's the type of robot sex that helps us learn about certain reproductive behaviors in animals.

When it comes to flirting, it seems hair pulling is out and stone throwing is in. Researchers from the Universities of Durham in the UK and Sao Paolo in Brazil have discovered that female tufted capuchin monkeys in Brazil have resorted to throwing stones at potential but inattentive suitors as a way to get their…

I hope none of you weren't planning on being reincarnated and coming back to life as a lady worm, because as it turns out, they have it a little shitty.

More importantly, you're probably also having a better time, and that's what really matters. But, you know, back to the looking attractive to other people thing because that's what's really most important.

Or, as many of us call it, sex. Hey, did you know that eighty-five percent of male insects engage in homosexual acts? About the same rate as my high school exes. Don't remind me. Ugh.

Monogamy is like being duct-taped inside a full Barney costume. Maybe you put in on because you wanted to, and the costume is cozy and warm in the winter months, but then the summer comes and suddenly you're so hot, and you miss your peripheral vision, and GAGGGGHHHH, get me out of this fucking goddamn Barney!

Everyone's a liar. It's unavoidable. Right? Of course, there are lies and there are LIES. At least, that's what we are told. Putting it that way makes it seem like there is some kind of clear distinction to be made, doesn't it? There isn't. People tell you growing up that there are "white lies" — things you say to…

Last weekend, officials at the Edinburgh Zoo made it explicitly, NC-17 clear that their resident giant pandas, Yang Guang and Tian Tian, are on the cusp of copulating. It could really happen any day now, and rather than be caught unawares by the Great Panda Fuckathon of 2013, zookeepers have been hard at work…

The Namaqua rain frog is the sort of animal that behaves exactly the way you'd expect its bathtoy likeness on sale in a zoo gift shop to behave — it squeaks. The adorable squeaking you're melting over serves as the frog's mating call. It also seems like just the sort of noise that would drive domestic dogs and cats…

Giant pandas, the seldom-mating mammal that humans just won't allow to fade mercifully into extinction, are world-renowned for their reluctance to make new pandas, so it's pretty big news that the UK's only panda couple might be getting ready to do the sex to each other, or at least have scientists "assist" them with…

Unfortunately for your wild childhood imagination, paleontologists recently decided that all dinosaurs probably had feathers to help insulate them during the holidays much the same way we hairless mammals use hideous sweaters to keep our nipsies from falling off like scabs in cold weather. A new chain of fossil…

In a disturbing new sociological twist, that thing where dogs look like their owners might have something to do with how guys deem certain women more attractive than others. According to a study from a French research team at Institut des Sciences de l'Evolution de Montpellier printed in MedicalXpress, homogamy plays…

Sleep, in case you don't get a lot of it and instead rely on the sadist you innocently call "caffeine," is really important and losing only a few hours of it each night can adversely affect most animals' ability to perform waking functions, like remembering to refill a subway card before swiping it so you don't hold…

New research has disabused Spider scientists (technical term, I assure you) at the Smithsonian of a long-standing misconception that males of the "highly sexually dimorphic and polygamous" wink, wink, nudge, nudge giant wood spider persuasion would sever their own genitals during copulation with a female spider to…

Well, this is romantic. It has been discovered by researchers at the National University of Singapore that males of a certain breed of spider — specifically, the tropical orb-spider Nephilengys malabarensis — will often castrate themselves either fully or partially, leaving a piece of their reproductive anatomy inside…

Being famous and struggling with infertility has got to be hard, but at least when you're a celebrity human, you can more or less keep the details of your experience to yourself. That's not the case for celebrity pandas Mei Xiang and Tian Tian, who have lived together at the National Zoo in Washington, D.C., for 10…