Flirtatious Female Monkeys Throw Stones at Potential Mates

When it comes to flirting, it seems hair pulling is out and stone throwing is in. Researchers from the Universities of Durham in the UK and Sao Paolo in Brazil have discovered that female tufted capuchin monkeys in Brazil have resorted to throwing stones at potential but inattentive suitors as a way to get their… » 1/15/14 11:10am 1/15/14 11:10am

Do You Have 'Wife Material' Written All Over Your Face? Ask Science!

Monogamy is like being duct-taped inside a full Barney costume. Maybe you put in on because you wanted to, and the costume is cozy and warm in the winter months, but then the summer comes and suddenly you're so hot, and you miss your peripheral vision, and GAGGGGHHHH, get me out of this fucking goddamn Barney! » 6/23/13 10:30pm 6/23/13 10:30pm

Everyone's a Liar. The World Is Stitched Together With Lies.

Everyone's a liar. It's unavoidable. Right? Of course, there are lies and there are LIES. At least, that's what we are told. Putting it that way makes it seem like there is some kind of clear distinction to be made, doesn't it? There isn't. People tell you growing up that there are "white lies" — things you say to… » 5/18/13 5:00pm 5/18/13 5:00pm

Panda FuckWatch 2013 Kicks Into High-Gear with Rigorous Panda…

Last weekend, officials at the Edinburgh Zoo made it explicitly, NC-17 clear that their resident giant pandas, Yang Guang and Tian Tian, are on the cusp of copulating. It could really happen any day now, and rather than be caught unawares by the Great Panda Fuckathon of 2013, zookeepers have been hard at work… » 2/24/13 3:00pm 2/24/13 3:00pm

Squeaky Frog Is Most Definitely Not a Chew Toy

The Namaqua rain frog is the sort of animal that behaves exactly the way you'd expect its bathtoy likeness on sale in a zoo gift shop to behave — it squeaks. The adorable squeaking you're melting over serves as the frog's mating call. It also seems like just the sort of noise that would drive domestic dogs and cats… » 2/17/13 2:30pm 2/17/13 2:30pm

Experts Say That Giant Pandas at the Edinburgh Zoo Will Soon Be Down to…

Giant pandas, the seldom-mating mammal that humans just won't allow to fade mercifully into extinction, are world-renowned for their reluctance to make new pandas, so it's pretty big news that the UK's only panda couple might be getting ready to do the sex to each other, or at least have scientists "assist" them with… » 2/17/13 2:00pm 2/17/13 2:00pm

Dinosaurs Probably Shook Their Tail Feathers Like Peacocks When They…

Unfortunately for your wild childhood imagination, paleontologists recently decided that all dinosaurs probably had feathers to help insulate them during the holidays much the same way we hairless mammals use hideous sweaters to keep our nipsies from falling off like scabs in cold weather. A new chain of fossil… » 1/04/13 2:00pm 1/04/13 2:00pm

Men Think Women Who Look Like Them Are Totally Hot

In a disturbing new sociological twist, that thing where dogs look like their owners might have something to do with how guys deem certain women more attractive than others. According to a study from a French research team at Institut des Sciences de l'Evolution de Montpellier printed in MedicalXpress, homogamy plays… » 12/01/12 4:45pm 12/01/12 4:45pm

Researchers Discover that Insomniac Birds Are the Sexiest Birds

Sleep, in case you don't get a lot of it and instead rely on the sadist you innocently call "caffeine," is really important and losing only a few hours of it each night can adversely affect most animals' ability to perform waking functions, like remembering to refill a subway card before swiping it so you don't hold… » 8/09/12 11:55pm 8/09/12 11:55pm

Clever Female Spiders Use ‘Mating Plugs’ to Thwart Unwanted Sex

New research has disabused Spider scientists (technical term, I assure you) at the Smithsonian of a long-standing misconception that males of the "highly sexually dimorphic and polygamous" wink, wink, nudge, nudge giant wood spider persuasion would sever their own genitals during copulation with a female spider to… » 8/02/12 9:30am 8/02/12 9:30am

Male Spiders Fuck So Hard They Literally Break Their Dicks in Half

Well, this is romantic. It has been discovered by researchers at the National University of Singapore that males of a certain breed of spider — specifically, the tropical orb-spider Nephilengys malabarensis — will often castrate themselves either fully or partially, leaving a piece of their reproductive anatomy inside… » 6/19/12 11:15am 6/19/12 11:15am

National Zoo Might Replace Famous Panda Because She Can't Get Knocked Up

Being famous and struggling with infertility has got to be hard, but at least when you're a celebrity human, you can more or less keep the details of your experience to yourself. That's not the case for celebrity pandas Mei Xiang and Tian Tian, who have lived together at the National Zoo in Washington, D.C., for 10… » 4/30/12 9:00pm 4/30/12 9:00pm

Male Penguins Turn To A Life Of Crime To Impress The Ladies

During mating season, over 5 million penguins congregate in Antarctica's dry areas and mate — just like in Happy Feet! (And March of the Penguins, obviously.) But here's something the Disney movie about a singing penguin forgot to mention: the theft that goes on as the males try to build nests for mating that are… » 10/18/11 12:00pm 10/18/11 12:00pm