Way back in 2015, the Jezebel staff took on a task of Herculean proportions: we attempted to masturbate to the very dramatic, very long soundtrack to the very awful film Fifty Shades of Grey, sex-jam by sex-jam. It was surprisingly effective! But to varying degrees. We all emerged wiser and more satisfied.
I’m starting to worry about BuzzFeed Motion Pictures. Though a recent profile in The Hollywood Reporter attempts to convince readers that things are going better than ever for Ze Frank and his team of merry masochists, a video the company uploaded earlier this week suggests they’ve run out of potential topics—a …
When I was first learning to masturbate, we didn’t have any of these fancy, newfangled vibrator shapes you young folk are getting yourselves off with. If a smooth cylinder couldn’t make you cum, tough shit.
Hello, and welcome to details we now know about a celebrity that we almost wish we didn’t know! I’m your host, Area Woman Who Previously Had No Idea That Dax Shepard A. Had a Vasectomy and B. Jerked Off Into a Cup While in the Middle of Heavy Traffic.
So I was reading this Guardian piece on beatin’ it. (Or, depending on the genitals you possess, um...“opening your ham wallet?” Jesus, that’s a terrible euphemism.) It features statistics on the types of people who beat and don’t beat it, how and when they beat it (if they indeed beat it), how often and for how long…
When I was about five years old, my parents and I visited my dad’s extended family in Houston. For a family portrait, my distant cousin Jack, a beautiful dark-chocolate stunner with a bright smile, hoisted me on his shoulders for the photo. I remember feeling…something. Looking back, I understand that it was an early…
New York police are on the look out for a man who reportedly masturbated at a woman for more than 30 minutes on a Manhattan-bound 2 train on Sunday afternoon. His identifying features are a khaki jacket, a white t-shirt, and—less obviously—a tattoo reading “TEAM USA” stamped in bold letters on his forehead. What a…
Is there a place in relationships for masturbation? The easy answer is “yes!” It’s your body, you should be able to do whatever the hell you want with it. But like anything else in life, masturbation has some complexities that can affect your relationship. Here’s how to have a healthy relationship with your partner and…
Finally the exultant music video for Hailee Steinfeld’s masturbation banger has dropped: shot by Hannah Lux Davis on a rooftop in (maybe) Dumbo, your new favorite Oscar-nominated pop starlet dances around in a bodysuit that says SELF SERVICE, but if that’s lost on you, go ahead and think this is a song about…
Hailee Steinfeld, “that child actor,” is working on a side hustle as a pop star; you may be surprised to know that her debut single, entitled “Love Myself,” is a jubilant paean to humanity’s favorite activity, masturbation.
Humans didn’t invent masturbation. We get the urge because our ancestors did too, even back to the earliest mammals and reptiles. It’s likely that as soon as animals evolved brain circuitry that made stimulating sexual organs rewarding, individuals started taking the opportunity to reward themselves.
Masturbation isn’t only enjoyable by yourself (although let’s be honest, it’s fun alone, too.) You can also utilize what you learn in your alone time to help you have more fun (and more orgasms) with a partner. Let’s talk about how!
Masturbation: It’s dangerous and will likely kill you, if you’re masturbating in the comforts of the open road with a rabbit vibe while a seafood truck is careening towards you.
There’s a lot of vibrator fear-mongering out there, mostly from idiots who are threatened by female sexual empowerment. Worried that you might get addicted to a vibrator? Or that your male partners would be intimidated by your vibrator usage? Let’s bust through the BS and talk about how to make your vibrator a healthy…
So many of the women in my sex therapy practice complain that they don’t like masturbating. I’m a huge proponent of masturbation, and have seen the ways that it can transform women’s lives with more pleasure, more orgasms, better body confidence, and more fun! Nobody’s going to force you to put your hands down your…
The New York Police Department is looking for any leads on a man that’s been accused of masturbating on a crowded train last week. The woman who reached out to the NYPD with a complaint claims that the man jerked it behind a hat to completion on her morning commute. Also, there’s video.
On the surface, Fifty Shades of Grey is a fairly tame and boring movie about two very frightened actors who get undressed and tentatively tickle each other with floggers, but something about the film (or maybe its source material) has caused audiences to go fully insane. Here is a timeline of their bacchanalian…
A woman was caught masturbating during a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' screening at a theater in the northwestern state of Sinaloa in Mexico, according to the New York Daily News.
The new Fifty Shades of Grey is being marketed as the Jill-off movie of a generation. But can you masturbate to its sex jam-heavy soundtrack? We tried our very hardest.
