Michael Leucke, a 72-year-old substitute teacher in Stamford, Connecticut has been arrested for allegedly masturbating in a school hallway before his first class. » 2/28/14 10:00am 2/28/14 10:00am

This video is for all you single people who are sick and freaking tired of watching everyone around you go nuts about Valentine's Day. (Yes, I'm thinking of you guys. Always thinking about you guys.) This is the best possible suggestion for what you could do on Valentine's Day. And you'll probably have a … » 2/13/14 8:45pm 2/13/14 8:45pm

Don't get me wrong, things like pornography and masturbation are scourges that do amount to young men who are "wounded spiritually on the battlefield of the great war," but this video seems to imply that you should turn away from both by gazing longingly at another young man. » 1/27/14 6:40pm 1/27/14 6:40pm

The walking dead could be heading into your orifices right now! PLEASE NOTE: This undead dong is NSFLOU (not safe for living or undead). » 11/27/13 1:35pm 11/27/13 1:35pm

Your favorite illicit website, PornHub, attempts to answer this question with an interactive infographic that shows significant traffic drops/spikes in various countries during major holidays and other seminal events. » 11/26/13 5:55pm 11/26/13 5:55pm

Are you laying in front of the TV, resting your laptop on your stomach while you munch on Sabor de Soledad and mainline The Good Wife? Excellent; let me join you. No, wait, I mean: get off your ass and let's make us some vibrators! » 10/20/13 8:30pm 10/20/13 8:30pm

Conservatives are very upset that a Wisconsin school district has reasonable guidelines for answering elementary schoolers' questions about masturbation without shaming them or sticking their fingers in their ears. » 8/26/13 6:20pm 8/26/13 6:20pm

We can all agree that Judy Blume is the basically the wisest scribe in all of contemporary literature, but if some of you still are still in disagreement, this latest interview in which she explains why banning kids from reading certain books makes zero sense should sway you. » 8/16/13 9:30am 8/16/13 9:30am

A teenage girl claims a passenger spent "long periods" of a six-hour fight "masturbating and exposing his penis" without being stopped by flight staff — who knew exactly what was up but declined to move her to another seat or, like, tell him to put his junk back in his pants before takeoff and landing. » 5/31/13 1:30pm 5/31/13 1:30pm

Have you ever hated Michele Bachmann so much that you just want to furiously diddle yourself? Now you have a legitimate excuse to do so. Publishing company Badlands Unlimited will be releasing an erotic book based on the fiery politician for a sweaty, sticky, hot summer read. » 5/22/13 9:40am 5/22/13 9:40am

If you're a man (or know a man) who can't get through breakfast without ejaculating into his (or your) Cheerios, there's a possible solution on the market. The very first FDA-approved penis-numbing spray is called Promescent — which just sounds like "prom scent", but whatever — and it promises to slow things down for… » 3/14/13 1:15pm 3/14/13 1:15pm

But what do you care? You still have your #1 main squeeze, masturbation; you're gonna be just fine! » 3/04/13 1:35pm 3/04/13 1:35pm

I don't know how we missed this, but it's the best thing that is or has ever been on the internet or in the world. » 2/27/13 11:45pm 2/27/13 11:45pm

I know, I don't understand, either. But, in the wise words of Busey, just picture it like you're in a romantic movie, but it's just you and your body parts. OK, I can do that! » 1/25/13 10:00am 1/25/13 10:00am