People, people, people. You are getting older. Every second that passes is another second away from your birth and closer to your death and that's okay. This is happening to literally every person that you will ever meet. It's a communal experience that, while maybe a little bit scary, brings us together and forces us… Read… 10/24/12 2:40pm 10/24/12 2:40pm

Panasonic has developed this fancy shampooing robot that uses 24 "finger-like tips" to wash and condition your hair, give you a scalp massage, and then dry your hair. It looks a little wacky, but actually seems to be pretty effective—and it supposedly even works on people with long hair. For now, it's intended mostly… Read… 5/01/12 10:00pm 5/01/12 10:00pm

Hey, being a cat is really hard. Sometimes you have to alternate so fast between acting totally judgmental and desperate for affection that it gives you a tiny case of whiplash. There's no better way to relax and get back into pouncing form than a little time spent enjoying a good neck massage. Read… 4/26/12 11:15pm 4/26/12 11:15pm

This looks like a scene out of a Disney movie in which all the animals have practical skills and exist in perfect symbiosis with their human friends. After the filming of this short video, you can bet this man got quickly to his feet, shivered a bit, and was immediately cloaked in a robe of flower petals by a gaggle … Read… 2/19/12 3:00pm 2/19/12 3:00pm

Sometimes you wake up thinking you're going to have a perfectly fine day, a day in which nothing unusual or particularly remarkable will happen. You might eat some food; you might go for a walk; you might even watch something on TV. But you certainly don't wake up expecting to see something that will forever change… Read… 11/20/11 1:50pm 11/20/11 1:50pm

The city of Edmonton, Canada is considering new rules to regulate erotic massage parlors. These would be some of the first health and safety regulations for erotic businesses in all of Canada. Read… 9/16/11 2:00pm 9/16/11 2:00pm

Former Mets outfielder Lenny "Nails" Dykstra is accused of stripping naked and requesting a massage from a woman he was interviewing as a housekeeper. But luckily for him, he has Charlie Sheen on his side. Read… 4/26/11 9:45am 4/26/11 9:45am

Cat massage expert Maryjean Ballner, who rocketed to internet fame when Everything Is Terrible posted her how-to videos, was on Letterman last night, where she informed Dave and the world that we've been petting cats wrong all our lives. Read… 12/10/09 2:20pm 12/10/09 2:20pm

I'm chilling out at Frankfurt Airport, desperately trying not to eavesdrop on any of the completely uninteresting conversations going on around me or gag from the smells of weird German lunch meats wafting up from the group of old people eating behind me. Luckily I have the redesigned Washington Independent's … Read… 7/16/08 10:00am 7/16/08 10:00am