Jezebel 
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New York, 6:50 AM
Tue Dec 22
55 posts in the last 24 hours
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12/09/09
12/09/09
To some extent, I understand why it's good to look approachable, but there are times when I'm pissed off and don't really give a shit what some unwelcome audience thinks if I want to scowl to myself.
Anyway, yeah, I can sympathize...it CAN feel humiliating when a someone blithely demands that you smile (especially and unsurprisingly from strangers...and strange men, who feel the need to comment on a woman's appearance simply b/c she has the gall to be out in public).
12/09/09
12/09/09
That's the kind of crap that makes me a little ageist....anticipating senility/the condescension of your elders (or any one else who has the nerve to all be spell out for you, "whatever is happening to you right now....I'm pointedly watching you, and it CAN'T be that bad, b/c you're a woman. SMILE! Smile for ME.")
12/09/09
12/09/09
12/09/09
12/09/09
Usually I am just minding my own business at the time and am neither happy nor sad. It infuriates me that strangers think they have a right to demand that my facial features should be set in a certain way.
12/09/09
12/09/09
12/09/09
12/09/09
12/09/09
me: They just can't identify my FACE, Mom!
12/09/09
12/09/09
12/09/09
12/09/09
12/09/09
oh calculus class.
12/09/09
12/09/09
creeeeeepy
12/06/09
12/06/09
11/24/09
I just don't like not recognizing Katherine McPhee. I love her dress. I hope she goes back to brunette soon, though.
Fit issues notwithstanding, Juliana's dress is rockin too. So much so that I almost didn't notice she'd accessorized with black and gold, which looks ok. But just so. I would have been fab paired with just gold or white and gold accessories. The black is just too much for the softness of her hairdo and dress.
My inner Edna Mode screamed "too much of it dahling!" at #11.
11/20/09
11/10/09
The pressure for young men to conform to masculine ideals and perpetuate patriarchy is astounding, and I'm so glad that it is finally being realized. The box of masculinity is so much more strict than that of femininity its frightening- women can go outside of gender roles while it is much more difficult for men. (I would also like to add that I do not agree with the ideas of femininity and masculinity, as gender is just a social construct- I'm referring to colloquial ideas pertaining to each gender, not how life should be.) #masculinity
11/10/09
Honest question. #masculinity
11/10/09
11/10/09
11/10/09
The next time he went out with her, he noticed it again.
Then he went out with my mom. And then with me. And he noticed it happening everywhere.
It completely grossed him out. It had never occurred to him, I guess. Even though we all shrugged it off.
Besides the fact that he now insists on walking us to the bathrooms in crowded restaurants, I think it's little things like this that really point out that men probably don't even think about these things. And how scary that really is. #masculinity
11/10/09
They also almost always get bogged down in the belief that the ideal of manhood peaked around 1955. Read through GQ (or Esquire, for that matter), or even blogs like 1001 Rules For My Unborn Son and The Art Of Manliness, and you'll quickly catch the pattern.
They can make as many nods towards modernity and equality as they want, but if your ideal man is still centered on a strong-but-silent heterosexual provider who "controls" his emotions, you're going to run into problems eventually.
And even if you do come up with a totally modern definition, what's the point? Why does there need to exist a single concept of what manhood is? Role models shouldn't be showing people how to act like the epitome of their specific gender/race/whatever; role models should be showing how to be a good person.
After all, what's the difference between Steven Colbert and Amy Poehler as role models? Both display the same values--intelligence, confidence, humor, respect for others, open-mindedness, and so on. Audiences will naturally identify with role models similar to themselves, so men will tend to look to Colbert and women to Poehler, but they're seeing the same things--not how to be a good man or a good woman, but a good person.
So yeah, we do need more male role models who don't have a toxic view of women, but not because we need a new standard of masculinity. #masculinity
11/10/09
11/10/09
+They like their women strong and opinionated.
+They like to cook and clean.
And they are often mysognistic. And sexist. And defintely products of the Patriarchy. They reap the rewards of being men and, from what I can tell, have no plans to relinquish their privilege.
Just because your dad, brother, or male partner is "cool" doesn't mean he's a feminist. It means he's not a dick. There's a huuuge difference. My dad, brothers, and boyfriend are not dicks. They're very lovely, actually. But they're definitely NOT feminists or redefining masculinity in any way. Feminists have raised the bar on what it means to be a Strong Woman. We would do well to raise the bar on what it means to be a Good Man. Being nice and cool and sweet ain't good enough. #masculinity