Bernie Sanders and Martin O'Malley Are Just Thrilled About All These Weekend Debates

There are approximately ten million more Republican debates scheduled before we elect a new reptilian overlord; meanwhile, there are just four more Democratic debates scheduled, and the next one is on Saturday night. Right after Star Wars was released. Days before Christmas. During a big football game.

Clinton and O'Malley Denounce Brutal Video of Student Arrest at Spring Valley High School

A video of a female student being violently thrown to the ground and arrested by a sheriff’s deputy at Spring Valley High School in Columbia, South Carolina is quickly becoming a campaign issue. Both Hillary Clinton and Martin O’Malley’s campaigns are calling the arrest unacceptable, with O’Malley reacting to it with…

Guitar-Toting Dad Martin O'Malley Probably Should Not Have Sung Bad Blood On TV

Tuesday morning, presidential candidate and Ken doll Martin O’Malley appeared on The View to promote his new album, Live From 1600 Penn. On the show, O’Malley explained that since Katy Perry was planning on stopping by an Iowa rally for one of his unnamed competitors this weekend, he felt it was necessary to respond…

A Field Guide to the Non-Hillary Clintons At Tonight's Democratic Debate

Around 8:30 tonight, a group of concerned white senior citizens will alight delicately on an overlarge stage in Las Vegas and make a case for why they should be allowed to roost in the White House. The following is a field guide to help the amateur naturalist politics-watcher identify the non-Hillary Clintons you…