In today’s Tweet Beat, Rebel Wilson fights a domestic enemy, Martha Stewart is having the greatest day ever and Lena Dunham overshares.

Martha Stewart is one of my favorite human beings on this here planet Earth and it’s like she goes out of her way to confirm that my adoration is perfectly placed.

Former resident of Alderson Federal Prison and Facebook Live master Martha Stewart was a guest on Wednesday’s episode of Chelsea Handler’s talk show Chelsea, and one of the topics the two women discuss (behind a coffee table inexplicably covered in apples) is another Netflix property, Orange Is the New Black.

My God. How many more are there?

Wednesday afternoon, the lives of several Jezebel employees—my own included—came to a screeching halt when Managing Editor Kate Dries informed us that Martha Stewart was making shrimp cocktail on Facebook Live. It was unsurprising that Dries, one of Stewart’s biggest fans, would be excited about such an event, but the…

In today’s Tweet Beat, I think that tree isn’t great but Martha likes it so whatever, Shia LaBeouf is still doing that thing and remember Ryan Lochte?

If socialites can be relied upon for one thing in this day and age, it’s their willingness to wear a wild custom hat to an invite-only daytime event. And God bless them for it.

In today’s Tweet Beat, Jim and Pam rise again, Martha Stewart is being Martha Stewart and Chelsea Peretti is a married woman.

I think I had a quarter-life crisis recently. Maybe it was an existential crisis—or perhaps just a bad day. In fact, I’m (big realization here) starting to think these things we call crises—the waves of uncertainty and anxiety about our future and place in the world—is basically just called living life.

Martha Stewart, queen of events, appears in tonight’s season 14 premiere of Say Yes to the Dress, offering subtle critique of wedding gowns in the most Martha Stewart way possible.

In today’s Tweet Beat, Kanye West apologizes to Wiz Khalifa but not Amber Rose, Martha fucking Stewart is 74 years old and I’m sure someone, somewhere feels bad for James Blunt.

Here are some of the perfect sentences Martha Stewart uttered while joining Wendy Williams on Tuesday to promote her new book Martha Stewart Weddings, one of which was, “Some of my best friends are a little overweight.”

In today’s Tweet Beat, Martha Stewart has a lot of eggs, Steve Carell congratulates the many white dudes in his movie and JoJo makes a good point.

“Do you like?” asks Martha, in her Instagram comments, growing tingly. “Do you love? Not that I would do such a thing but it is a bit appealing?”

Beware of Martha Stewart frying pans.

I used a picture from 2011 for this article because not many professional, non-blurry photographs of Rob Kardashian exist after that point. We don’t hear from him often, and when we do (at least throughout the past couple of years), it’s usually dreary gossip about his alleged health problems or hatred for his family.…

Real Housewife LuAnn de Lesseps and Real Housewife Martha Stewart both recently attended a dinner at the Baccarat Hotel held by the Qatari ambassador to the U.S., and let’s be real, no one knows how to stir up drama like Mohammed Jaham Al Kuwari!

The food gluttony, couch unity and familial harmony (ha) that often comprises Thanksgiving Day looks so much more attractive when highly stylized by famous rich people and, presumably, their design directors.

After being kicked out of a Los Angeles night club, Azealia Banks and her friends allegedly beat the hell out of a security guard. But, because it’s usually not a good idea to beat the hell out of a security guard, she’s currently under investigation by the LAPD for “criminal battery.”

In today’s Tweet Beat Martha Stewart > the Muffin Man, Kim Kardashian waits for something—I assume for that baby to drop—and ok, Kathie Lee Gifford.