March Madness Drugs vs. Alcohol Ends With Caffeine vs. Bubbly

It all comes down to this. Drugs vs. Alcohol. Caffeine vs. Champagne. Whereas all men must die, one March Madness competitor can live forever as the God of Inebriation. Your vote decides which will be remembered (and forgotten) as the substance that tried and failed and which will achieve immortality in our hearts and… » 3/28/14 5:15pm 3/28/14 5:15pm

March Madness Final Four: Weed, Caffeine, Champers and Vodka

Booze hounds and dope fiends, we have arrived at the March Madness: Drugs vs. Alcohol Final Four and soon — within mere days — this violent, furious competition will come to a close with only one winner. Looks like we've come to the eeeeeend of the roooooad and still I can't let these drugs and alcohols go. » 3/27/14 6:00pm 3/27/14 6:00pm

Your Morning Cry: Meet March Madness Star 8-Year-Old Lacey Holsworth

They’re unlikely friends, but Michigan State hoop star Adreian Payne and eight-year-old Lacey Holsworth are the cutest thing you’ll see today. During a charitable hospital visit two years ago with his college basketball team, Payne met the little girl who is fighting nerve cancer and was struck by her optimism… » 3/27/14 10:40am 3/27/14 10:40am

March Madness: It's Time for Purple Drank and Vodka Tampons

It's only day three of Jezebel's March Madness: Drugs vs. Alcohol and some of the races are already tight tight tight! Yesterday, Gin knocked Rum out of the running by a slim 131 votes! In this case, I'm sad to say that "close" earns you a big fat nothing. Sorry, Rum. We'll catch up with you in mojito season. » 3/19/14 5:35pm 3/19/14 5:35pm

Show Your March Madness Team Spirit With a Well-Timed Vasectomy

March Madness is upon us, which means many basketball fans are about to disappear for two weeks and return, blinking at the unfamiliar sunlight, only when a winner is crowned. So many men are apparently taking this opportunity to kill two birds with one stone, by scheduling their vasectomies. » 3/17/14 11:05am 3/17/14 11:05am

March Madness 2014: Drugs vs. Alcohol

Not to be dramatic, but this has been the sort of winter that made much of America want to unzip its Old Navy performance fleece vest, gently place it neatly folded in a snowbank, and curl up in a ball in the subzero night, waiting for death's sweet release to lead us like lambs out of pain and into oblivion. As such,… » 3/14/14 2:00pm 3/14/14 2:00pm

March Madness Championship Game: MTV vs. Grunge

We always knew it, didn't we, that it would somehow come down to this. Two sides of the same industry, seemingly at odds, but both needing each other to exist. In the 80s stadium, we have MTV — the VJs, the I Want Mys, the music videos and the commercialism. For the 90s we have Grunge — the melancholia, the plaid,… » 4/09/13 6:40pm 4/09/13 6:40pm

Okay Nostalgia Heads, Here Are Your March Madness Final Four

We have entered the final four of our 80s vs. 90s March Madness and can I just say that I'm a little relieved? Not only am I barely managing the pressure of seeing my favorites drop like flies from the running (Prince is gone, but never forgotten), but I have run clean out of 80s vs. 90s pop culture references...See?… » 4/08/13 5:40pm 4/08/13 5:40pm

March Madness: Come as You Are — a Brain, an Athlete, a Basket Case, a…

Whoa. WHOA. Did that really just happen?! Did Gameboy really beat out East Coast vs. West Coast Rap by less than 100 votes?! Important question for all you conspiracy theorists out there — did East Coast vs. West Coast Rap really lose or did it just fake its own death and is now chilling out on some remote island… » 4/05/13 6:20pm 4/05/13 6:20pm

March Madness Elite Eight Naturally Includes an Eight Ball

Welcome the the Elite Eight! Yesterday, voters decided to say no to D.A.R.E and yes to MTV (Daren the Lion would be so disappointed in you) and poor Monica Lewinsky still can't catch a break, having lost to the Seattle Sound by a whopping 3,670 votes. Oh, well. She can always go back to her career as a purse designer. » 4/04/13 5:30pm 4/04/13 5:30pm