Teens Are Abandoning Malls for Restaurants

Add Mallrats to the list of things you're going to have to explain to bored high schoolers volunteering at your retirement home in 60 years, because teens just don't hang out at the mall anymore. Silly millennials can't even appreciate the simple pleasures of cruising PacSun with a hot pretzel and a fountain soda. » 4/11/14 7:00pm 4/11/14 7:00pm

Abercrombie Declares 'Unnatural' Hairstyles Like, Totally Unacceptable

Last week, Abercrombie announced to its army of cologne-encrusted employees a new crackdown in the company's oft ridiculed appearance guidelines. Gone are the days of creative coiffage, of chunky highlights and ombres; now any and all haircuts and styles must appear "natural" or else you run the risk of getting… » 9/05/13 2:15pm 9/05/13 2:15pm

Mall Cops Ask Breastfeeding Women Why They're Exposing Themselves,…

It's hard out there for a mom. Recently, a woman in Houston was kicked out of a Hollister store because no human beings should shop there. JK, it's because she was breast feeding. In response, three women decided to stage a "nurse in" at a Hollister store at the Concord Mall in Delaware on Saturday. Just for the… » 1/06/13 11:00pm 1/06/13 11:00pm

The ‘Mall Experience’ Is Just a Crappy Old Version of the Internet

When I was a kid reveling in the rampant consumerism of the 90s, I had fantasies of living in the mall because the mall in my town had a K.B. Toys and a Great American Cookie Company in the food court. It was awesome. Some of the most vivid dreams I've ever had were variations on this basic narrative: a… » 7/18/12 12:10pm 7/18/12 12:10pm

Malls Being Transformed Into Havens for Old and/or Lazy People

Apparently scientists in Montréal no longer need to put rats in a maze to conduct experiments, because they have shopping malls. Bonnie Swaine and Eva Kehayia, researchers at the Centre de recherche interdisciplinaire en réadaptation du Montréal (CRIR), turned the Alexis Nihon Plaza shopping center into a "living… » 1/06/12 2:50pm 1/06/12 2:50pm

I Was A Teenage Trend-Hater: Despising Twilight Is Big For Fall

A piece » 11/18/08 3:00pm 11/18/08 3:00pm in yesterday's described the frenzy surrounding the appearance Robert Pattison, the star of , at a mall in Pennsylvania last Thursday. Squealed one tearful girl, "He was this close...Close enough to bite my neck." I guess this was fresh on my mind the other day when I met up with a young teen whom I've known…