I don’t know about you, but if I’m paying $38,000 for the world’s most expensive in-flight suite, I expect the entire experience to be positively slathered in luxury, dripping from every gold-plated surface like sweat should be dripping from the temples of my cadre of hustling servants.

Are you looking for creative ways to blow damn near a thousand bucks AND simultaneously proclaim your love of all things social media? Run and go get your credit card, because your search is over.

My God. It's all made of chocolate. Look at it. Look at it, everyone.

Those darn wealthy people! It's like every time you see them, they're doing some ridiculous new thing like lighting a cigar with a $100 bill, buying their way onto lifeboats on the Titanic or tricking a rube into selling his oil-rich land for far less than it's worth. And this time's no different. Now, our world's…

What, pray tell, is this remarkably versatile piece of utilitarian jewelry? It’s a “chatelaine,” which bore all the accessories most useful to an extremely fancy woman living in the 19th century. They held all sorts of things, from whistles to thimble buckets, and the really well-made chatelaines were minor…

Hey there, moneybags! Were you standing in your bathroom this morning, staring at the priceless antique jar you fill with cotton balls, thinking to yourself, "These little wads of cotton just aren't soft enough for my fine face. If only there was something more luxurious I could invest in"? Well, it's your lucky day!…

"Luxury is not shopping," says Rem Koolhaas.

The hourglass Simmons keeps in her wardrobe is filled with "over 5000 little diamonds. And they're real." ("Over 5000 cubic zirconias" doesn't have the same ring.) This, her "satellite closet," she warns is only "a smaller version of the Mothership."

Sorry, it's actually l'Hélicoptère par Hermès. Price: $10 million. It shuttles between downtown Tokyo and Narita airport for $700. One way. First or business class travelers might be able to ride for free. Scarf not included.

Did you know that borscht tastes better when cooked in a diamond-encrusted saucepan? Or that luxury lingerie is sexier than regular lingerie? The Russians learned these lessons—and more!—at a "millionaire's fair" in Moscow. (Note: Your dog needs a new mink.)

Today in "expensive shit," we have Rodarte's new socks, which at $500 are the world's priciest hosiery. An openwork mix of mohair and alpaca, the socks are apparently "too delicate to wash." So you'll save on that.

How would you travel if money were no object? Perhaps, like Beyoncé and Jay-Z, you'd rent a 180-foot, Italian-made Benetti Luxury yacht that goes for $377,000… a week. Worth it? Let's take a look.

Yawn. Another day, another £100,000 gold and diamond bespoke stiletto. We get it: You can make really expensive stuff. There are still some people left who are rich enough to buy it. So these diamond stilettos? They're already tired.

At $69,500 the Vividus king-size from Hästens Sängar AB of Sweden is the world's most expensive known mattress. Big-spenders who shell out for the state-of-the-art engineering tend to "lie down for a long time," says a seller. [WSJ]

Now that everybody's getting squeamish about luxury, where will we get our vicarious thrills?

Today's "Styles" section brings a profile of two mysterious Russian personal shoppers from Bergdorf Goodman, who apparently have the best, most ridiculous job in the world.