Rashida Jones is sick and tired of all the masseurs and all the naked touchings and all the ballyhoo, goddamnit. It's about time for a major movie star to come out of the closet—for the children, you know! The children need you, Hollywood gays!—and it might as well be John Travolta. Allegedly. You know, if he wants.…

Jethroux/JustJen/Justifer/Janthrax news! Jennifer Aniston is in London with her sweet piece of mancandy boyfriend Justin Theroux, and she met his cute as hell documentary filmmaker cousin Louis Theroux, that lucky duck. A source says: "Louis obviously approved of Jennifer. It looked like they were having a great…