Let's Celebrate the World's Athletes with an Olympic Gif Party

The London Olympics are wrapping up on Sunday, after 16 days of competition, crying during national anthems, and ill-conceived grill flashing. Let's relive some of the game's most memorable moments with the artistic medium du jour, the gif. » 8/10/12 5:10pm 8/10/12 5:10pm

On July 27th — we were all so innocent then — the XXX Olympiad kicked off…

Fifty Strokes of Gay: The Wonderfully Weird World of Filthy Olympic…

If you can dream it, someone has written dirty fanfiction about it. There's sexy fanfiction about everything imaginable — from Thomas the Tank Engine to RENT to Rainbow Brite. Years ago, I followed a blog called World Cup Sexual Frustration, which alternated between posting pictures of soccer players, which is what… » 8/09/12 5:00pm 8/09/12 5:00pm

Here's Ryan Lochte's Piss-Happy Acting Debut

Ryan Lochte has been threatening to try acting for several days now, and he's followed through in record time (we should have expected that one of the fastest men in the water would quickly swim to an indelible part of the pop culture psyche). Here's his first installment of LochTV, a Funny or Die video series that… » 8/09/12 4:00pm 8/09/12 4:00pm

Someone at NBC Apparently Approved This Creepy, Porny Video of Female…

Have you barfed yet today? Get thee to a drain of some kind before watching this video the pervs over at NBC have put together in order to show their appreciation for Olympic bodies of the 2012 London Games. Unfortunately, to NBC, showcasing the "Bodies in Motion" of the XXX Olympiad means taking footage of… » 8/09/12 3:00pm 8/09/12 3:00pm

If Women Want to Race Like Men, They Better Look Like Girls

Thanks to a combination of Lady Gaga lyrics, deodorant strong enough for men but made just for us, and pole dancing classes, women are now more equal with men than ever. We're out-enrolling men in college, we're installing tampon machines in executive suite bathrooms, and we still enjoy a commanding lead in the… » 8/07/12 11:40am 8/07/12 11:40am

Ryan Lochte and Ryan Lochte's Mom Issue Urgent Clarification About Ryan…

Earlier this week, Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte's mother told the press that her preening, winking Adonis of a son had no time for relationships because he was always "on the go." "He only goes on one night stands," she said. And it's all America's vaginas could talk about for the next 24 hours. But now, both Lochte… » 8/03/12 1:25pm 8/03/12 1:25pm

10 Reasons Why Ryan Lochte Is America's Sexiest Douchebag

The first time I heard the voice, I chose to ignore it. Ryan Lochte is kind of a fratty idiot, Erin, the voice said. All the signs are right there. You're being willfully ignorant. "Shut up, brain!" I replied. "You're not the boss of me! Come on, vagina! Let's get out of here, away from the party pooper trying to ruin… » 8/02/12 3:30pm 8/02/12 3:30pm

Ryan Lochte Gives Womankind Questionable Fashion Advice

It's been a busy week for your boyfriend US swimmer Ryan Lochte. First, he moistened America's vaginas by undulating suggestively through the water whilst wearing a Speedo, then he dried them back up again when he tried to wear that stupid America grill on the medal stand after winning gold. But even in the midst of… » 7/31/12 6:30pm 7/31/12 6:30pm

America Loves a Crying Gymnast

American Jordyn Wieber is gymnastics' reigning World Champion and was a favorite to take home an all-around medal during the London Olympic games — until yesterday. Even though she performed well, it wasn't enough. Fate and goofy Olympic rules intervened and Wieber was knocked from the all-around final by her underdog… » 7/30/12 11:45am 7/30/12 11:45am

Web Company Sponsors Female Weight Lifter Living in Poverty

US weight lifter Sarah Robles is one of the strongest women in the world, so it's extra admirable that when she was living on a paltry $400 per month stipend as she trained to compete for the US in the upcoming Olympic games, she didn't resort to using her formidable muscles to intimidate people into giving her their… » 7/17/12 12:20pm 7/17/12 12:20pm

How Sending Female Athletes to the Olympics May Be Bad for Saudi Women

After much arm twisting from the International Olympic Committee, Saudi Arabia has said "uncle" and given up making excuses for why it's one of three countries that has never sent a woman to compete in the Olympic Games. But although the presence of a Saudi female athlete in London may appear encouraging to outsiders,… » 7/02/12 10:50am 7/02/12 10:50am

Badass Athlete Unleashes Vigilante Justice Against Her Facebook Stalker

A blundering idiot of a cyberstalker has found the tables turned on him after sending shots of his junk to an Olympic athlete, who in turned posted his name and email address on her Facebook page. Her move has ignited a debate on whether or not she was justified, but if you ask me, he's lucky that's all that she did. » 4/25/12 7:15pm 4/25/12 7:15pm

Saudi Arabia Was Just Kidding About Letting Women Compete in the…

International Olympic Committee rules require that countries allow both men and women to compete as a prerequisite for their participation in the Olympic Games. Saudia Arabia, a country that has never sent a female athlete to the games, has been warned of this, promised to correct the situation, and then sort of did… » 2/17/12 11:35am 2/17/12 11:35am

Bad Economy = Teen Emo; Blogger Bitches Out Know-It-All Reader

• The recession is turning Juicy-wearing teens into emo kids! • An O.C. teen is in trouble over video of him tossing rabbits and a puppy into the air. • Speaking of pets, a new study reports that Americans' creature companions are full of dangerous chemicals. • Swedish scientists have found that people with good rhythm » 4/18/08 5:30pm 4/18/08 5:30pm