Queen No Longer Among the UK's 300 Richest People 

Queen Elizabeth has slid down the pole and is no longer among the three hundred richest individuals in the United Kingdom. Somebody break the news to Prince George that he can have either an entire Toys R Us or an entire FAO Schwartz for Christmas, but not both. Down here among the hoi polloi one must make choices,… » 4/29/15 2:20pm 4/29/15 2:20pm

To Chill or Not to Chill: The Great Vacation Debate

I recently did something I’d fantasized about for a long time: I got on a plane and went to London and Paris. It was only for a week, but I immediately wrestled with the pressure of going so far away for so little time—how would we strike the perfect balance of chilling and seeing all the shit we were supposed to?
» 4/26/15 11:57am 4/26/15 11:57am

Harry Potter Train Platform Marriage Proposal Nearly Thwarted 

A Texas man flew his girlfriend all the way to goddamn England to propose marriage at a specific train station that appears in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Only he arrived and discovered that the goddamn trains weren't running, and so he had to improvise. (His backup plan involved taking the bus.) » 1/08/15 3:30pm 1/08/15 3:30pm

Pregnant Woman Verbally Destroys Abortion Clinic Protesters 

A pregnant woman in London deployed a total and devastating verbal smackdown on a group of anti-abortion protesters filming women going into a clinic, calling them "hypocrites" and yelling at them to help children in need instead of harassing women in distress. The pregnant lady hasn't been identified, but the video… » 12/04/14 4:45pm 12/04/14 4:45pm

Relentless Holiday Consumerism Slowly Turns People into Mannequins

LONDON, ENGLAND - DECEMBER 28: A man shouts through a mega phone to entice people into a store on Regent Street on December 28, 2013 in London, England. Shoppers across the country are re-emerging to take advantage of the post Christmas sales which had been hit by the recent bad weather, with many shoppers turning to… » 12/28/13 3:00pm 12/28/13 3:00pm

Noodle Shop's 'Hangover Taxi' Service Is Best Idea In Human History

A London noodle shop has introduced a service it's calling a "hangover taxi" that is everything it sounds like and more. Hurting revelers are picked up from their house and taken to work in a car with a hot bowl of noodles, orange juice, sunglasses, breath mints, and hangover meds. In other news, I am moving to… » 12/17/13 12:50pm 12/17/13 12:50pm

Massive 15 Tonne, Bus-Sized 'Fatberg' Found Lurking in London Sewers

The human capacity for creating unholy, squalid monstrosities is truly stupendous. And, everyone, I am not exaggerating when I say that we have a species have finally outdone ourselves: over in London, a group of humans has unwittingly created a private vacation island for the Rat King. It's absolutely revolting. … » 8/06/13 3:10pm 8/06/13 3:10pm