How to Send Your Daughter to a the Patriarchy! 

Punishing children is a fraught, occasionally necessary task. I know we live in a time of positive rewards and encouraging good behavior rather than punishing the bad. But toddlers are basically tiny psychopaths who will destroy you. Don’t believe me? Just trying blocking a two-year-old’s access to bleach. They will… »10/20/15 3:30pm10/20/15 3:30pm


Welcome to Derby Days, the Most Spectacular Con in All of Frat Philanthropy

We recently received a tip about a couple of banners hanging on the Sigma Chi fraternity house on the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign campus. “We never stop at third base,” one says, over an all-American MLB banner showing a woman playing dick-baseball in heels. “KKΓ<3 SΣX,” says the other banner, which… »9/30/15 12:15pm9/30/15 12:15pm

Two Drunk Girls Hear Fetty Wap for the First Time


In the arena of music criticism, one of the most common (and objectively embarrassing) phenomena is that of the listening session—that magical time when journalists gather together as one in an office or nightclub of the label’s choosing to listen to an album in advance of its release date, often plied with alcoholic… »9/25/15 3:35pm9/25/15 3:35pm

Carly Rae Jepsen's 'Boy Problems' Is a Beautiful Gay Song of Discovery

In the starry-eyed, regressive wonderland that is Carly Rae Jepsen’s new album E • MO • TION, “Boy Problems”—which almost got tossed off the tracklist!—stands out for a couple of reasons. Written by Sia and Greg Kurstin and filtered through Carly Rae’s enthusiastically spellbound pastel vox, the track has a hustle, a… »8/25/15 1:45pm8/25/15 1:45pm

Lululemon Is Releasing a Beer Called 'Curiosity Lager' LMAO

Because How Does My Ass Look IPA and Conspicuous Consumption Please-Don’t-Call-Me-Stout were taken, Lululemon’s new, overdue, highly anticipated entry into the craft beer market is called “Curiosity Lager.” According to the New York Post, it’s made with “made with chinook and lemon drop hops for a ‘crisp, cold beer.’”… »7/22/15 11:10am7/22/15 11:10am

Lululemon Diaries: My Life in an Exploitative Libertarian Happiness Cult

In years past, Lululemon has made the news most frequently in matters related to founder Chip Wilson, a man prone to tone-deaf statements who brought his company into permanent association with strange health claims, Ayn Rand devotion, and an aversion to large bodies. After Wilson vacated his management role in 2012… »7/15/15 12:10pm7/15/15 12:10pm

How to Avoid Indoctrination at the Hands of 'Your Liberal Professor'

Last week, while reporting a longer story, I had the distinct pleasure of joining hundreds of libertarian-leaning fundamentalists at the Great Homeschool Convention outside LA. In the interest of blending into the crowd, I wore the only floral thing in my closet and proudly carried the “GOD & COUNTRY” flag tote… »6/23/15 4:40pm6/23/15 4:40pm

After getting the outrage hammer from a bunch of super unchill SJWs who probably drink Zima or somet

After getting the outrage hammer from a bunch of super unchill SJWs who probably drink Zima or something else un-American, Anheuser Busch is withdrawing a Bud Light slogan that says, “The perfect beer for removing ‘no’ from your vocabulary for the night.” No more “just never say no” labels will be printed, so collect… »4/29/15 10:45am4/29/15 10:45am

Dance Moms Fans React in Totally Normal, Sane Way to Essay About Them

Yesterday, we published a quick internet deep dive essay investigating the young, Instagram-based fandom of the Lifetime show Dance Moms. Amy McCarthy wrote about this manic and self-contained social media universe: the constellations of fake accounts, password-hacking, promises to leak "secrets" about the young… »1/14/15 12:00pm1/14/15 12:00pm