Colbert: 'Apparently Kid' Is Coming for America's News Professionals

Redheaded five-year-old news prodigy Noah Ritter continued his takeover of the American media last night, getting his very own Colbert Report segment. The theme? This kid is fully qualified to seize any TV journalism gig he wants. "He's already breaking the story of how the super slide is half death-scaring our… »8/07/14 10:40am8/07/14 10:40am

'Apparently Kid' Apparently Has No Idea What Apparently Means

Five-year-old Noah Ritter became an instant sensation yesterday, when he took the local news mic at a county fair and delivered an bravura performance peppered with unnecessary "apparently"s. This morning he continued his media blitz with a Today Show interview, and he adorably admitted the truth: "No, I don't know… »8/06/14 1:50pm8/06/14 1:50pm

Pranked TV Station Reports “Ho Lee Fuk,” “Wi Tu Lo” As SF Crash Pilots

Bay Area Fox affiliate KTVU purportedly learned the names of the flight crew of Asiana flight 214, which crashed last Saturday at San Francisco International Airport, killing two. These—"Sum Ting Wong," "Wi Tu Lo," "Ho Lee Fuk," and "Bang Ding Ow"—are not their names. The newscaster's credulous reading puts it over… »7/12/13 4:46pm7/12/13 4:46pm

Neighbors Call 911 After Mistaking a Dog as a Lion, Probably Because He's a Lion at Heart

911 received a panicked call in Norfolk, Virginia from a concerned citizen who claimed that a baby lion was roaming the street, possibly in search of food. Police contacted the local zoo to assure that all of their lions were accounted for ("In their cage, playing euchre as usual," responded the zoo keeper) before… »1/09/13 12:56pm1/09/13 12:56pm

Teacher Posting Creepshots of High School Students to Reddit Rightfully Fired, But Perv Forum Still Exists

So here's some good news about the ongoing battle over Reddit's Creepshots forum: it seems that the teacher who was posting photos of his underage students to the internet without their knowledge has been caught, and fired. And, to add insult to perv injury, he's been banned from Reddit. Even worse! But here's some… »9/27/12 12:20pm9/27/12 12:20pm

Genius Black Bear Cures Chocolate Cravings With a Little Breaking and Entering

After finding an out-of-place chocolate tin and a little bit of dirt on the store's countertop, Jo Adams, owner of a Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory franchise in Estes Park, Colorado, suspected that a squirrel had managed to get into her shop overnight. Upon viewing the security footage, however, Jo discovered that… »8/08/12 12:10pm8/08/12 12:10pm

Black People Hurting Our Troops, Says Ridiculous Fox News Report

Did you know that every single day, America's troops put their lives on the line so that we can be free to sit in recliners and watch Fox News? Well, looks like some terrible things are afoot in Detroit, where one brave white man has endeavored to expose the treachery of black factory workers partying during their… »11/23/11 3:00pm11/23/11 3:00pm