As if Lindsay Lohan smacking a woman at a nightclub after a Justin Bieber concert over some dude from a band called The Wanted didn't already sound like a demented Canterbury Tale written in glitter pen ("Lindsay got drunker and drunker… and it turned Max [George] off"), there is now a whole new dimension of absurdity.…

We considered reviewing Liz & Dick, but it was just so incredibly bad: Lindsay has zero sparkle, charisma or pizazz in front of the camera; there's absolutely no light in her eyes. The script was horrendous, the music didn't work, the casting — Creed from The Office? Steve from Sex and the City? — was just confusing.…

It's going to be a full weekend, what with the turkey and the digesting and all, but the "world premiere event" of Lindsay Lohan's latest, Liz & Dick, airs Sunday night on Lifetime at 9pm. We'll have a very special open thread dedicated to the show, so we can all watch together. See you then!

• Is Kristen Stewart gay?

[Los Angeles, May 27. Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]

• Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry have split up. A source says:

• Britney Spears' dad has banned her from leaving home without a bra.

• Teri Hatcher is launching a website for women called Get Hatched, a "chick's guide to life."

[Paris, March 17. Image via Getty]

• Someone broke into Kourtney Kardashian's home on Saturday night, taking thousands of dollars worth of jewelry. Hollywood: Step up your security! [TMZ]