The Aggressively Terrible Life of the Real Simple Holiday Hostess

It's the holidays: time for women to be endlessly instructed in the fine art of entertaining. But, like witches, hostesses come in the categories of "good" and "bad." Lady Macbeth is a bad hostess. She and her husband plot to kill Duncan while he is staying with them. It's bad enough to murder a man while he sleeps,… » 12/23/14 5:00pm 12/23/14 5:00pm

16 Signs You’re in a Women’s Magazine List About Some Bullshit 

What with human banality, the steady expansion of female-centered media and the slow morph of the internet into a honeycomb bristling with echo chambers for one, it's hard not to feel that we are truly living in a golden age of the woman's magazine list about some bullshit. Every day, more and more web content is… » 12/08/14 2:10pm 12/08/14 2:10pm

The Worst Songs to Play During a Father-Daughter Wedding Dance

Just as guests patiently endure long church weddings between atheists who are appeasing their religious bill-footing parents in order to get to the real fun at the reception, so too have we endured a terrible-ass spring to arrive where we are now, at fun-ass wedding season. And, as such, to the perennial awkwardness… » 6/04/14 1:00pm 6/04/14 1:00pm

Ladies: Here's 50 Things You MUST Know to Keep a Man

The first thing you should know is that according to a list published on Wall Street Insanity, men are fragile babies who can't stand to have their women disagree with them in public, gain weight or watch a chick flick without getting a blowie after. (I need you to know that writing blowie literally made me feel itchy… » 3/22/14 5:40pm 3/22/14 5:40pm

The Great American Menu: Foods Of The States, Ranked And Mapped

What are the United States' best regional foodstuffs? Its worst? These are the questions that bedevil the mind of man—but no longer! For here, we have ranked them. Rigorously scientific (not), ardently researched (nope), and scrupulously fair (not even a little bit): this is the Great American Menu! » 10/17/13 3:39pm 10/17/13 3:39pm

The Best/Most Ridiculous College A Cappella Team Names in the Country

The past few years have been good to a cappella. Or maybe a cappella has been good to the past few years. With the release of Pitch Perfect and its super fun soundtrack, the success of Glee's Warblers album and the viral hits of college a cappella groups like On the Rocks, a cappella has gone from Preferred Activity… » 5/31/13 7:00pm 5/31/13 7:00pm

Your Official Last-Minute Guide to Last-Minute Mother’s Day Gifts

Fuck, you forgot that it’s Mother’s Day, didn’t you? And now you’re thinking of trying to play it off with a quick phone call and an impromptu recitation of a found poem you’ve cobbled together from an old modernism anthology that you only half-read. Your mom will see right through that, of course, and she’ll be… » 5/12/13 5:00pm 5/12/13 5:00pm

13 Reasons the World Is Still Awesome

Happy Monday. Last week sucked — fuck last week. THAT SAID, the world still has some stuff going for it, and because seeing the great things is not something that comes naturally to many of us, let's take a moment to reflect on how the world is rad and wonderful. Why not? The alternative is to down a bottle of Celexa… » 4/22/13 12:40pm 4/22/13 12:40pm