What happens when you invite your mom to see 50 Shades of Grey? (Well, first of all, don't ever do that.) Here's one way it might go down, from Jez reader Heather: "I invited my mom to go see 'Fifty Shades' for a project I'm working on, but she declined. Not only did she decline, she declined in listicle form."
Look. Let's just get this out of the way. I know this is going to seem like some bullshit listicle about animals doing stuff—and yeah, it KIND OF IS, I GUESS, in that it's literally a listicle of animals doing stuff—but what you have to understand is that I really, really give a shit about animals doing stuff.
The other day, CNN astutely asked its Rhodes Scholar readers whether or not white Americans are racially oppressed. And they were serious!
Fuck resolutions! Here are a few things we actually plan to do in '10.
Warning: Scrooge-y thoughts ahead.
In our experience? Not too many. But we've compiled the definitive "safe word" list, cause we're servicey like that! (Note: never, ever look up "NSFW." They take it very literally.)
Beware, you guys, for the Ides of March has come. And while the soothsayer's warning failed to save Caesar from his fate, perhaps we can save each other from lesser dangers on this treacherous day.
According to a recent survey, Obama has beaten out Jesus as America's most admired person. Sadly, but unsurprisingly, the top ten heroes were nearly all men, with Mother Theresa coming in at #10.
Someone wrote into the Wall Street Journal to ask if Cynthia Grossen could recommend another fictional hero as swoony as Twilight's pallid Edward Cullen. Grossen gives some picks, but we think we can add to it.