First Republican Presidential Forum Was Dull and Bizarre, Naturally

Are you ready for it? Are you ready for the next 461 days of being campaigned at by a pack of desperate losers, flop-sweating in their suits, overtaking your TV, your radio, your mailbox, leaning in too close at your local diner or county fair, corndogs clenched awkwardly in their fists, showing all their teeth in a… » 8/04/15 11:45am 8/04/15 11:45am

Even Lindsey Graham Thinks Donald Trump Is an Asshole

Donald Trump had a very Trump-ish weekend. During a Saturday rally held in Phoenix, the presidential candidate promised a group of nouveau Know-Nothings that he would banish “the illegals.” “This has become a movement,” Trump said. “The silent majority is back, and we’re going to take our country back ... the word is… » 7/12/15 12:05pm 7/12/15 12:05pm

Fox News and Lindsey Graham Lament Hate Crime Against Christians

“If we’re not safe in our own churches, then where are we safe?” Pop quiz: Was the preceding sentence uttered by, a. One of the grieving congregants at Emanuel AME Church in Charleston, South Carolina? Or b. Elizabeth Hasselbeck of Fox and Friends, making the Charleston shooting into “an attack on faith” rather than a… » 6/18/15 4:50pm 6/18/15 4:50pm

Senate Republican: Lindsey Graham is a 'Bro with No Ho'

Oh, hey. Illinois Republican Senator Mark Kirk tried to make a joke. That’s — that’s odd. Why do these dudes think they can make jokes? Don’t they have supportive family members or colleagues or close friends to gently take them aside and say, “Senator Mark Kirk, my man, you’re surprisingly OK for a Senate Republican » 6/11/15 3:35pm 6/11/15 3:35pm

Sen. Lindsey Graham: If President, I'll Have a 'Rotating First Lady'

Sen. Lindsey Graham, the unmarried (heyyyy!!) Republican presidential candidate from South Carolina was recently asked who would act as his first lady if, by some miracle, Graham found himself elected to the country’s highest office. He responded with a number of options, but none of them were good. » 6/09/15 7:50pm 6/09/15 7:50pm

Pig Castrator Joni Ernst Hosted a Motorcycle Rally for GOP Hopefuls

That creaking, clanking noise you hear faintly—so faintly—is the sound of the 2016 presidential election rolling inexorably in our direction. But right now much of the action is centered in Iowa, where, FYI, Republican senator Joni Ernst (who first came to our attention with an ad proudly touting her hog-castration… » 6/08/15 3:30pm 6/08/15 3:30pm

Lindsey Graham Just Asked Loretta Lynch If Gay Marriage Is Like Polygamy

Because of course, Republican senator Lindsey Graham from the great state of South Carolina, decided he would ask the current United States Attorney General nominee Loretta Lynch if same-sex marriage and polygamy were the same, you know, constitutionally speaking. » 2/02/15 9:26pm 2/02/15 9:26pm

Republicans Insist On Not Calling Sotomayor Racist, Call Her Racist

  • Senate Minorityi Leader Mitch McConnell doesn't think it's his place to stop or chastise prominent Republicans who are running around screaming, "Racist!" at Judge Sonia Sotomayor. Of course, McConnell doesn't think a lot of things are his place, up to and including holding the Republican Senator majority. […
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