Don't Buy All The Pies At Burger King To Spite A Child, You Asshole

By now you likely have encountered this thing, currently wending its way across the internet. In short, the story goes that the guy—a redditor (of course) known as thr111—spited the whiny, out-of-control child and distracted, defensive mother behind him in line at Burger King by purchasing every pie left in the… » 8/07/14 1:59pm 8/07/14 1:59pm

This Terrifying Bride Is Only Joking Except When She's Not

Everyone has a friend—a terrifying, beautiful friend—who wields humor the way ranchers wield cattle prods; who jokes, and teases, and Just kidding!s her underlings ("BFFs!") toward the cliff-edge of nervous breakdown; whose sadism is impossible to fight against because it's just a joke, why can't you take a joke? » 9/19/13 11:00am 9/19/13 11:00am

"No Other Men In It, Just Me": A Letter From A Porn Hopeful

Yesterday we shared an adorable letter from a fan of the New Orleans Pelicans, begging the team to give him a chance and a million-dollar contract. Reader Daniel used to work at an adult video company, and dug up a letter from one of the company's biggest fans, begging for a role in porn. » 9/05/13 3:59pm 9/05/13 3:59pm

14 Life Lessons From an Awesomely Batshit Interview With Kanye West

Kanye West, America's tantrum-throwing beat-dropping id, gave an interview to the Times this week so overflowing with self-aggrandizing proclamations practically begging to be ironically cross stitched onto a $30 Etsy throw pillow that it made Muhammad Ali sound like Mahatma Gandhi. But when you strip away the… » 6/12/13 5:15pm 6/12/13 5:15pm

"WE FUCKING SUCK SO FAR": A Sorority Girl Lashes Out At Her Sisters

I always like to picture sororities as places where college girls stage elaborately decorated mixers and then spend the rest of the week gouging out each other's eyes. And thankfully, the remarkable email you're about to read proves all of my theories correct. From reader Erik: "This is from the University of… » 4/18/13 12:57pm 4/18/13 12:57pm

Duke Sorority Wants You To Do Your Bestest To Find A Future Banker…

This is an email we were forwarded that was written by a Duke sorority sister to all her crafty friends, detailing the preparations they needed to make for Old South, an annual celebration of all things Dixie thrown by the Kappa Alpha fraternity, a celebration that was actually banned by the frat's executive order » 4/20/11 4:45pm 4/20/11 4:45pm

Here's What Happens When You Cross Oprah

Back in the late '90s author, spiritual coach and relationship expert Iyanla Vanzant made regular appearances on Oprah, taking over the show for the whole hour every other Tuesday, doling out advice. Iyanla became famous and rich and, like Phil, she was being groomed to have a show of her very own, produced by Harpo.… » 2/16/11 6:37pm 2/16/11 6:37pm

In Praise Of The Lesbian Feminazi High School History Teacher

When a bunch of high school asswipes start a male-only Facebook group trashing their female teachers — and Star Jones? — with a barrage of incoherent misogynist babble, it is annoying, but seriously, shit like that is happening every nanosecond; it is just one of the things you file under "why The Internet was maybe… » 3/31/08 5:30pm 3/31/08 5:30pm