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Glenn Beck-Produced, Homo-Free Version of Musical Theater to Feature Singing, Dancing, Self-Loathing

Professional jerk Glenn Beck sure does admire Glee, but he hates the show's "everyone get along and be gay all over if you want" message. In response, he's going to use the $12 bajillion dollars he got in exchange for selling his eternal soul to Rupert Murdoch's wrinkled skin suit to produce a star-studded, expensive,

How to Convince Hillary Clinton to Run for President in 2016 (Even Though She Already Said No)

Hillary Clinton told a crowd earlier today that she won't be running for President in 2016, and while she didn't come right out and say it, she sort of implied that she's tired of the unique brand of bullshit The People have flung at her during her decades-long career in the public eye. What can the hopeful masses do…