If a sexually-dissatisfied Southern woman happens to be on the lam with her friend, she can no longer count on glistening young cowboy drifter Brad Pitt to make the fuck with her. Why? Because he doesn't do onscreen sex scenes anymore, out of respect for Angelina Jolie, and she does the same for him.

In addition to the double mastectomy that Angelina Jolie underwent in February, we learned in her New York Times op-ed, she also plans on having an oophorectomy — ovary removal surgery, a procedure recommended for high-risk women before the age of 40. Without this, her BRCA1 gene still places her risk of ovarian…

By Jordan Asher Major Brogan III, age 16

So Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey had a totally low-key renewal of their wedding vows. Cannon and #dembaby Moroccan were dressed as Disney princes while Mimi and #fembaby Monroe were in princess garb. It was grillions of dollars, in Disneyland, they Vined the shit out of it, and invited Entertainment Tonight. Some…

Although Adele and her people have been meeting with Harper Collins to discuss a possible book deal (with a seven-figure offer), it won't be a memoir because, at 24, she thinks she's too young.

You know what's a really nice way to cool off in the summer? Watching one of your many, many servants chip away from a giant tractor tire of ice so that your mint julep can be nice and chilly. Nobody likes a lukewarm mint julep, least of all Tom Buchanan. Moving The Great Gatsby back to an almost-summer release…

Leonardo DiCaprio is the king of the Carey Mulligan, Tobey Maguire, Joel Edgerton, Isla Fisher, and Elizabeth Debicki in this just released poster for Baz Luhrmann's Gatsby. This is not going to be a subtle film, friends.

The newest trailer for Baz Luhrmann's The Great Gatsby is out and it promises more of the same — which is to say absolute art deco gorgeousness from beginning to end. Break out your jeweled headbands and dust off those old bottles of champagne, baby. May 10th is right around the corner and we're headed to petting…

Sometimes-actress, always-perfectly-symmetrical-faced-human being Jessica Alba wrote a book called The Honest Life: Living Naturally and True to You. She is marketing it as "like GOOP, but for Poors like you and me."

In what sounds rather like a Portlandia cameo gone wrong (or right!), Gossip frontwoman Beth Ditto was arrested on a drunk and disorderly charge in a Portland bar on Saturday night. Spoiler alert: It sounds like she was drunk and disorderly. She was cut off during the St. Patrick's Day festivities when the bartender…