Todd Akin has made several legitimate mistakes over the course of his flaccid political career. Appearing on MSNBC today to say more stupid shit about rape was among them, and judging by his apparent dogged wrongness in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, it won't be the last.
It's been nearly a year since Todd Akin hit a chord with his "legitimate rape" comments that changed the way Americans think about sexual assault and reproductive justice forever. Just kidding about that last part!
"Legitimate" rape is so 2012. Now we have "rare" rape, care of Republican Arizona Rep. Trent Franks, who proved today that the trend of old GOP bigots who think women can only get pregnant from consensual sex will never go out of style!
National Rifle Association CEO Wayne LaPierre made a speech at CPAC today in which he excoriated liberals for suggesting that arming women might not be the be-all and end-all of rape prevention. "The one thing a violent rapist deserves," LaPierre said, smirking,"is to face is a good woman with a gun!" (HUGE APPLAUSE.)…
Last year, 26-year-old schoolteacher Lydia Cuomo was raped at gunpoint by drunken off-duty cop Michael Pena on what was supposed to be her first day teaching second-graders at a Bronx school.
Liberals weren't the only ones who were horrified last week when Georgia Rep. Phil Gingrey backed up Todd Akin's stance on legitimate rape; GOP strategists were, too. More astute Republicans are sick of watching their peers dig their own rapey holes by publicly expressing their misinformed and misogynistic stances on…
Well, well, well, America. You're so much less awful than I thought. With horror stories of suppression and fuckery being whispered from Ohio to Florida, many nervous Obama voters braced for the worst yesterday, only to be rewarded with what basically amounts to the election equivalent of the pony they thought Santa…
Todd Akin released a new campaign ad today featuring a rape survivor saying she had an abortion. Now, I'm confused. If women's bodies have ways of shutting that down, why did she have to have an abortion? WHO IS LYING HERE? Or was she raped and separately had an abortion? I'm just really confused, can anyone clarify…
If my 2012 self could visit my 2008 self, 2012 self wouldn't have the heart to tell 2008 self that in the years 2011-2012, there's going to be a whole lot of really depressing rape-mansplaining from the GOP. 2008 self would also be devastated to know that the problem has gotten so gigantic and stupid that a website…
The more naive readers out there might think there's only one kind of rape: forced sexual penetration. Ha! There's actually a bevy of rape flavors, including "rape" rape, "grey" rape, "legitimate" rape, "forcible" rape, and — last and most recent but certainly not least — rape by divine intervention.
You've heard of "legitimate rape" and "forcible rape" and "rape rape" and (thanks, Ron Paul!) "honest rape," but have you heard the new rape hotness? Last night, during a debate between Connecticut Senate candidates, Republican upper house hopeful Linda McMahon explained her view on emergency contraception by…
Women's health expert and Senate candidate Todd Akin has said some pretty impressive dumb shit this election season. But did you know that the Missouri Congressman has been saying stupid crap about women for years now? In 2008, he gave a speech about how dastardly abortion doctors were performing abortions on "women…
Femininity expert and giant elderly fetus Todd Akin is moving his mouth parts and making awful sounds again. This time, rather than sharing his opinions about Rape Science, he's got an opinion about his opponent Senator Claire McCaskill, who he has determined is poised to lose the election because she is less…
How much do you want to bet that Claire McCaskill is crossing all of her crossable phalanges right now? Her Missouri Senate opponent is Todd "Legitimate Rape" Akin, and Akin has until the end of the day to legally remove his name from the November ballot. If he doesn't, the best hope the Republican party has to retake…
Time to woefully set the giant "DAYS SINCE SOMEONE IN THE GOVERNMENT SAID SOMETHING ASININE ABOUT RAPE" sign back to 0. It seems that the state of New Mexico is trying to limit certain state aid to only women who can prove their child is the result of "forcible rape." Not that other, less awful sort of rape that…
Missouri Republican Senate nominee Todd "Legitimate Rape" Akin may be a quivering slime mold with a side part of a human being, and the Republican establishment may have publicly distanced itself from him, but that doesn't mean they don't still kind of want him to win. And now that the media spotlight is shining its…
A new parody of Todd Akin's "legitimate rape" nonsense is making the internet rounds and, well, it's really something. Positioned as a fake pharmaceutical ad — "legitimate rape" is being sold as a method of birth control — the commercial features a mock rape. Watching it made my stomach twist into knots and my head…
In the days after letting it slip that he believes that rape victims shouldn't be allowed to have abortions because if it's a "legitimate rape," the female body has ways to "shut that whole thing down," Missouri Senate candidate Todd Akin bragged that even though he's pretty much a human-shaped bag of biohazardous…
Todd Akin is telling you, he's not going. You're the best country he's ever known. There's no way he's going to ever go. No no no no way. No no no no way he's living without you. He's staying. He's staying. And you, and you, and you. You're gonna love him. You're stuck with this bastard, America! He's not dropping…
When Todd Akin said that he learned from "doctors" that women's reproductive organs can stop themselves from getting pregnant from "legitimate rape" (sort of like high tech, high security spy facilities that women can control with their minds) the world balked. What doctors? Dr. Spaceman? Dr. Nick? Dr. Pepper? Dr.…
