My washing machine broke about a week ago. I am not mad at it: The poor fucker is older, quite a bit older, than this website, and for the past several years has been running pretty much nonstop to accommodate the fact that my two sons basically are very adorable piglets that talk and have occasionally unsteady…
You know what one of the worst things about doing laundry is? That you can't get stupid drunk while waiting for your delicates to dry. I mean, theoretically you can, but you run a very high risk of drunkenly joining some underground laundry secret society. Those are a total pain in the ass to get out of, trust me.
The YouTube caption for this video insists that the cat is "helping" with the dirty laundry, though that hardly seems possible given the visual evidence at hand. This cat is clearly just fucking around with the dirty laundry, which doesn't seem helpful or considerate at all. This cat, ladies and gentlemen, is a dick.
By this point, it should be pretty obvious that Mitt Romney has the most hapless and mendacious surrogates EVER, but, in case you need a little more convincing, Ohio Gov. John Kasich was on hand Wednesday to provide some more evidence that the entire GOP is now officially a horseshoe crab that somehow got stuck on its…
Much unlike many a magazine editor who recommends you buy all sorts of crap that they most likely got for free, your Jezebel staff doesn't get jack shit (other than books, unsolicited). And that's how it should be. But on our own time, in our personal lives, we still buy stuff. So this is Worth It, our recommendation…
Two scientists have developed a chemical coating for fabric that causes it to clean and deodorize itself when exposed to sunlight. This means that unless the world is too polluted to occupy in the future, we'll never have to do laundry again. Now, let's all twirl around in our dream kitchens!
Most of us only know that when we bring clothes to the dry cleaner, a few days later they come back perfectly clean (except for that one stubborn spot and the missing button). Dry cleaning is actually a more harsh, and environmentally harmful, process than you might think, but new regulations may be changing the way…
[Pal writes: "Cosmo loves laundry." Thanks, Pal! My dog loves laundry too. If only you could send them off with some quarters to actually get the job done. Sigh. Image via email.]
Modern romance: The game has changed. So much so that your first date may very well involve Tide and dryer sheets.
Breaking news from this morning's online news churn: "Career women" love housework, and will resist all attempts to share it. Sorry, women's libbers! That none of this holds up to any rigorous scrutiny will shock you.
Sometimes a crap Craigslist ad drips with douchery aforethought — and sometimes the dude responsible just seems authentically, painfully clueless. The following missive from a currently wife-less "professional" falls into the latter camp.
A 45-year-old French woman was arrested for locking her 80-year-old husband in the laundry room for a year, while she lived with her lover. Police noted she beat him and fed him "mostly pastries that were past their sell-by date."
Apparently "Tide's a sudsing whizz even in hardest water." It's enough to make you want to embrace your box of Tide so tightly that little hearts squirt right out of it. If you're into that kind of thing. [Vintage Ads]
"Why can't we break the spin cycle?" Haskins asks. "Because when you're high on laundry, life is just better… it smells better." Clearly, she's been freebasing Cheer, because she goes off on detergent commercials: