10 Awfully Awkward Moments From the Kardashian Khristmas Special

The Kardashian/Jenner family's annual Christmas card is barely recognizable, missing some parts, and all fucked up from fame. Just like Michael Jackson's face. (And that, too, was shot by David LaChapelle.) » 12/02/13 7:00pm 12/02/13 7:00pm

Ranking How the Kardashian Kids Celebrated Their Mom's Birthday

Tuesday was Kris Jenner's birthday. Happy Birthday Kris Jenner! The Kardashian/Jenner Family matriarch apparently celebrated her birthday not by eating her young in an effort to stay youthful forever, but but consuming cupcakes decorated with her own floating head. She was also showered with love by her offspring, in a … » 11/06/13 2:20pm 11/06/13 2:20pm

Beyoncé Hair Update: The Pixie Is Out and The Bob Is In

Just one week after chopping off all her hair and giving everyone — even straight dudes! Even my dad! — an arrhythmia, Beyoncé's back on the extensions. The Pixie has disappeared in favor of an asymmetrical blond Bobyoncé (with the help of extensions, obviously), which she wore out to dinner in Miami with Jay Z. He looks … » 8/16/13 9:00am 8/16/13 9:00am

Of Course Lindsay Lohan's Being Accused of Partying All Night

Bleh. Seven days out of Cliffside, where Lindsay Lohan served her 90 days of court-ordered rehab, she has allegedly been spotted partying with her friend-and-occasional-hookup Max George and sister Ali in Los Angeles. The party went all night, and a "source" (a pigeon? That disgusting oil heir Brandon "Firecrotch" Davis? » 8/09/13 9:00am 8/09/13 9:00am

By the Numbers: The Kardashians Have Collectively Lost 431 Pounds

Everyone's always like, "Why are the Kardashians even famous? What's their talent?" And this whole time the answer has been staring us right in the face in supermarket checkout aisles: they are highly skilled at losing weight—inhumanly so. In less than four years, the three sisters have managed to drop an impressive 431… » 5/09/13 11:55am 5/09/13 11:55am

While You Were Sleeping Cory Monteith Checked Into Rehab (Again)

Glee star and "Frankenteen" Cory Monteith, who's previously been open about his troubled past as a delinquent teenager, has checked into rehab for substance abuse. His rep confirms to People: "[Monteith] has voluntarily admitted himself to a treatment facility for substance addiction [...] He graciously asks for your… » 4/01/13 9:00am 4/01/13 9:00am

Lindsay Lohan's Not On Drugs But Having Trouble Making It to Court

I mean, how hard is it to catch a flight? This is a rhetorical question for Lindsay Lohan, who missed her plane last night from New York to attend her trial in L.A. this morning. (We're now on her twenty-something trial. When you move into the double digits, you should get a free Shakeweight or some turtle wax or an… » 3/18/13 9:00am 3/18/13 9:00am

Kim Kardashian Rushed to Hospital During Miscarriage Scare

Kim Kardashian was rushed to an L.A. hospital in tears on Tuesday night after she felt something had gone awry with The (Second) Most Important Baby of Our Time, shortly after she got off a plane from Paris. (She was seeing a Givenchy show with Kanye West.) She's fine, fortunately, and was sent home the following day… » 3/07/13 9:00am 3/07/13 9:00am

Kim Kardashian's New More Private Life Includes Nude Mag Covers

A few days ago, Kim Kardashian said that what she got most from her relationship with Kanye West was an appreciation of privacy. The new cover of French fashion mag L'Officiel Hommes features Kimye's idea of what "privacy" is, whose definition clearly got switched to "maybe fucking on a magazine cover" in the Oxford… » 2/26/13 9:00am 2/26/13 9:00am

Beyoncé Goes H.A.M. at Super Bowl, Announces Imminent World Domination

So last night Beyoncé literally blew the lights out at the Super Bowl with a powerhouse performance featuring Destiny's Child (dammit, why "Bootylicious"? If they had done "Survivor" or "Bills Bills Bills," I would have jumped on the coffee table and dumped the nacho dip over my head like a 'roid-riddled athlete bathes in… » 2/04/13 9:00am 2/04/13 9:00am

This One Time, Kourtney Kardashian Dribbled Some Breast Milk Onto Kim's …


» 1/26/13 11:30am 1/26/13 11:30am

This is actually what Gen. Kurtz is referring to when he cries "The horror, the horror!" at the end of Heart Of Darkness: the exploits of the Klardashiarns take a bizarre turn on the upcoming episode of Kourtney and Kim Take Miami when Kourtney Kardashian dribbles some fresh breast milk onto Kim Kardashian's psoriasis … » 1/26/13 11:30am 1/26/13 11:30am

Girls Fans Throw Shade at Lena Dunham for Liking Taylor Swift

Sincerest feelings-havers Lena Dunham and Taylor Swift have been Internet friends since Red dropped in October, but Dunham just admitted that the denizens of Bushwick who constitute her fanbase have a hard time believing that she scream-sings "You Belong With Me" in the shower like many a red-blooded human being.… » 1/03/13 9:00am 1/03/13 9:00am

The Kardashian Christmas Card Looks Like a Tampon Ad

I think it was Tolstoy who wrote, "Happy families are all alike, but Kardashians are all different kinds of bacterial strains of fame-grubber." Here is their Christmas card, which features dearly departed Persian kitten Mercy (RIP) sitting unhappily in something that looks like it came from Ikea and is maybe called a… » 12/18/12 9:00am 12/18/12 9:00am

Rihanna Apologizes for Imprisoning Journalists in Louche Dionysian…

I confess, I have not been paying much attention to this Rihanna psychedelic plane-of-iniquity situation. I do not understand what it is, because WHUT, and therefore I choose to ignore it. However, it has come to my attention that Rihanna has now issued an apology for whatever-the-fuck-nü-media-Langoliers-sky-orgy is… » 11/20/12 8:50pm 11/20/12 8:50pm

The Hobbit Was a 'Death Trap' For Animals

So, this is the worst! Up to 27 animals died in their farm facility during the making of The Hobbit trilogy, which the wranglers involved in the production claim was "a death trap." Although the American Humane Association says no animals were harmed during the actual filming, they acknowledge that the wranglers'… » 11/19/12 9:00am 11/19/12 9:00am