Everyone's always like, "Why are the Kardashians even famous? What's their talent?" And this whole time the answer has been staring us right in the face in supermarket checkout aisles: they are highly skilled at losing weight—inhumanly so. In less than four years, the three sisters have managed to drop an impressive 431 …

Glee star and "Frankenteen" Cory Monteith, who's previously been open about his troubled past as a delinquent teenager, has checked into rehab for substance abuse. His rep confirms to People: "[Monteith] has voluntarily admitted himself to a treatment facility for substance addiction [...] He graciously asks for your…

I mean, how hard is it to catch a flight? This is a rhetorical question for Lindsay Lohan, who missed her plane last night from New York to attend her trial in L.A. this morning. (We're now on her twenty-something trial. When you move into the double digits, you should get a free Shakeweight or some turtle wax or an…

Kim Kardashian was rushed to an L.A. hospital in tears on Tuesday night after she felt something had gone awry with The (Second) Most Important Baby of Our Time, shortly after she got off a plane from Paris. (She was seeing a Givenchy show with Kanye West.) She's fine, fortunately, and was sent home the following day…

A few days ago, Kim Kardashian said that what she got most from her relationship with Kanye West was an appreciation of privacy. The new cover of French fashion mag L'Officiel Hommes features Kimye's idea of what "privacy" is, whose definition clearly got switched to "maybe fucking on a magazine cover" in the Oxford…

So last night Beyoncé literally blew the lights out at the Super Bowl with a powerhouse performance featuring Destiny's Child (dammit, why "Bootylicious"? If they had done "Survivor" or "Bills Bills Bills," I would have jumped on the coffee table and dumped the nacho dip over my head like a 'roid-riddled athlete bathes in…

This is actually what Gen. Kurtz is referring to when he cries "The horror, the horror!" at the end of Heart Of Darkness: the exploits of the Klardashiarns take a bizarre turn on the upcoming episode of Kourtney and Kim Take Miami when Kourtney Kardashian dribbles some fresh breast milk onto Kim Kardashian's…

Sincerest feelings-havers Lena Dunham and Taylor Swift have been Internet friends since Red dropped in October, but Dunham just admitted that the denizens of Bushwick who constitute her fanbase have a hard time believing that she scream-sings "You Belong With Me" in the shower like many a red-blooded human being.…

I think it was Tolstoy who wrote, "Happy families are all alike, but Kardashians are all different kinds of bacterial strains of fame-grubber." Here is their Christmas card, which features dearly departed Persian kitten Mercy (RIP) sitting unhappily in something that looks like it came from Ikea and is maybe called a…

Jada Pinkett Smith used Facebook to perform an awesome smackdown on people who have been trolling the parental implications of the ever-changing short hairstyle of 12-year-old Willow Smith: