You did it, Internet: Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas, starring Kirk Cameron as smug prick "Kirk," is now the single worst-rated movie on IMDB. This hour-and-change-long Facebook rant from your second-cousin Sam the seminary drop-out now ranks lower than Superbabies: Babies Geniuses 2, The Hottie and the Nottie, and …

If Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas is Christianity's best hope for "saving" Christmas, Christmas is fucking toast. The dirty secularists have this thing in the bag. Na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye.

Kirk Cameron, banana/sex expert, partied all night at the most exclusive wedding in the world so he could teach his girls about not letting boys put their boners in them.

Kirk Cameron recently popped by my favorite Internet publication, the Christian Post (it's like HuffPo mated with a church newsletter!), for a little chat about his upcoming motion picture release, Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas. And he had a message for you believers: Halloween is totally OK to celebrate, because…

Let me tell you guys my idea of a perfect Christmas. You wake up like it's any other day—it might not feel like December 25, it might even feel like, say, August 27—you go to work, you eat your sandwich, you shoulder life's banality with the resignation of a much older woman, and then...someone sends you a link. You…

A Texas court ruled last week that a pair of Christian homeschooling parents who stopped teaching their nine kids because they believed the Rapture was imminent (and everyone knows that the best thing about heaven is NOBODY QUIZZES YOU ABOUT THE BATTLE OF HASTINGS) are not, in fact, allowed to just do that.

This has been one fucked up day for the Lohan clan. Like, I can't really even follow what's been going on. But as far as I can tell, Lindsay and Dina partied all night and eventually got into an argument about an errant $40k that Lindsay had loaned her mom. Then they clawed at each other's faces for a while until…

Zombie child actor Kirk Cameron refuses to stay in the cool, dark earth of his television career, and so has reached a necrotic limb into the media once again to talk about...himself. Specifically, Cameron would like everyone to know that all the bigoted stuff he said about gay people to Piers Morgan was taken out of…

Perhaps you've heard the news that '80s sitcom star turned Evangelical soldier Kirk Cameron recently came to the defense of Todd Akin after the congressman made incendiary, and frankly nonsensical, statements regarding vaginal capabilities, conception, and "legitimate rape" as some kind of argument against a woman's…

Oh goddamnit, America, WHY do you keep asking Kirk Cameron questions? The man literally believes that during his lifetime he and all his best fwiends are going to be whisked up to a magical slumber party in the sky, while the rest of us are stuck down here on earth fighting an undying army of frog-dragons. BECAUSE OF…

English tabloid editors have tipped their bowler hats at their US counterparts by printing some of the best erotic fan fiction we've seen for some time – a breathless blow-by-blow account of Prince Harry's plan to woo Katy Perry by pushing to have her play at the Queen's Diamond Jubilee. "Harry has a double reason for…

In today's Tweet Beat, Alan Thicke and Tracey Gold are not standing behind Kirk Cameron, Iman shows off her beautiful husband, Zooey gets a spring manicure and Yoko dispenses some rather limited advice.

Here's a trivia trick question that will throw future film and TV buffs for a loop: Growing Pains is a) the name of a popular 80s sitcom about an affluent family in Huntington, New York, or b) the documentary that actor/Old Testament fanboy Kirk Cameron's gay children make about growing up under relentless pressure…

No matter what your feelings were about Scott Baio before last week, the revelation that he and his wife are nasty right-leaning name callers who look down on "lesbian shitasses" was a bit of a heartbreak for 80s nostalgia.

• Another day, another John Mayer apology. He told the audience at his sold-out Madison Square Garden show last night, "I hate to come off like an asshole ever, and thank you guys for believing that I am not an asshole..."

• Uh-oh. This could be controversial, if you have read the books: Angelina Jolie will play Kay Scarpetta of the bestselling Particia Cornwell mystery novels.

• Jennifer Hudson will sing for President Obama, Michelle Obama and their guests at a state dinner tonight.