The day after Friday the 13th, John Goodman celebrates his thirteenth time as host of Saturday Night Live, with musical guests Kings of Leon. This puts him third for number of times as host, with Alec Baldwin the reigning champ at 16 and Steve Martin second with 15.

It's 2013! And yet, this is a very 2012 story: the Internet is feeling all Olivia Benson-on-Law & Order: SVU this morning after piecing together with the help of "forensic evidence" that Rihanna and Chris Brown spent the night together on New Year's Eve. By "forensic evidence" I mean Instagram pictures of them…

The radiant and hilarious Kirstie Alley may actually have a job. ABC is ordering a pilot of The Manaznis, a "family comedy" that's described as a "new take on Roseanne." Kirstie plays a "very opinionated" wife and mother in a family that moves to a repressed country-club town. What does that mean exactly? Class wars?…

• We now know why Mariah Carey was playing coy about the sex of her baby (aside from the fact that it's none of our business). She's announced she's having a boy and a girl.

Seriously: they're casting for a video, and "physical abnormalities or deformities are welcomed!!!!"

Last night's SNL featured Emma Stone, who did a bang-up job handling her parts. She should come back for cameos, just to further explore her Lindsay Lohan. But overall, a "passable" epi at best. Let's check out the goodies!

Caleb Followill rejected Glee's request to use Kings Of Leon's music because he's never seen the show. Also, an "incredibly famous actor" begged to use their song in a trailer but, "I was like, 'Man, don't even waste your energy.'"

• In the September issue of Elle, Julia Roberts says she refuses to get Botox because, "Your face tells a story and it shouldn't be a story about your drive to the doctor's office..."

On Friday, Kings of Leon abandoned a concert after three songs because pigeons kept pooping on them. Nathan Followill Tweeted: "So sorry St Louis. We had to bail, pigeons shitting in Jared's mouth and it was too unsanitary to continue."

• Kate Winslet has reportedly been spending time with model Louis Dowler. According to a source: "They've been on lots of dates and get on really well. It's early days for them but they enjoy each other's company." [NewsOfTheWorld]

• Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner have split after dating for three months. "He liked her more than she liked him," claims a source.

Be thankful if you still have a job: After the hell year that was 2009, a lot of fashion people don't. Many designers were fired, some were hired, and plenty lost their businesses altogether. An overview of the tumult:

• Wait wait wait wait. Did Lindsay Lohan spend the night at Jason Segel's house?

• Marilyn Manson revealed in an interview that he and Evan Rachel Wood are back together. Evan — When a guy violently beats and murders your look-alike in a music video, that's a deal breaker.

• Today in pointless clothing lines of the stars: Miley Cyrus and Max Azria's Wal-Mart collection! The digs look well worth every penny of their sub-$20 price point. [Lucky]
• Now, even the Kings of Leon has one. [Blackbook]

This clip features Emma, an enormously talented 8-year-old, performing "Snow Day," a song she wrote herself at the 2009 Spring Coffee Shop Jam in Seattle. She also sung "Fun," another Emma-original, and played "Notion" by Kings of Leon. [BoingBoing]

When discussing body dissatisfaction, women often argue that we have it much harder than men. However, in certain subcultures in which certain men reside, like indie rock, the Guardian argues, skinniness is heralded, and the overweight are mocked. According to the Guardian's Priya Elan, when Kings of Leon frontman…