Ever concerned with the threat the female form poses to the morality of children, the BBC has issued new wardrobe guidelines for female hosts of kids' programming on the network. Among the banned items? That serial murderer of youthful innocence known as "red lipstick."
Newsweek just ran a monster-length piece about tween girls and sex called Sex and the Single Tween, finally giving readers access to the enduring question: So are Our Nation's Precious Little Girls sluts, or what?
Another reason to feel bad for today's little girls: one day, the straight ones will grow up to face a dating selection consisting of doted upon nightmare boys raised by parents who used the power of the internet to validate their sneaking suspicion that their lil' All Star might be a genius. Meanwhile, the girls'…
If there's one thing grown-ups know about kids, it's AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD WHAT ARE THE KIDS DOING I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT KIIIIIIIIIIDS!!!!!!!!! When media sensationalism meets natural parental anxiety, we get terrifying trend pieces about how sexting is turning middle school into an…
I'm kind of lukewarm on the "wacky Amazon review" school of comedy at this point—the first umpteen iterations were amusing, but after so much manufactured wackiness you start to crave some genuine wackiness, you know? That's why I can't stop reading this Amazon review of Ramona Quimby, Age 8, which appears to have been…
Dear Man I Sat Next to at the 3:10pm showing of Wolf of Wall Street at the Regal Cinemas L.A. LIVE Stadium 14,
I've worked with lots of kids and the one thing I've never thought as a child gleefully threw sand at my face and then wiped their entire face on their shirt was "damn, I wish that kid was wearing Stella McCartney right now." Don't get me wrong, kids look adorable in tuxedos and party gowns, but I don't know if they…
Over the holidays, at a party at my mom's house, my cousin's 9-year-old daughter marched up to me and said, "Hey. Are you famous?" I laughed. "Not really. Maybe a little bit, on the internet. But I'm not, like, Brad Pitt or anything."
In case you needed any more evidence that dolphins are Just Like Us™, scientists have now observed them deliberately altering their mental states by chewing on toxic puffer fish. Dolphins are GETTING WASTED, you guys.
When students at Eastside Catholic High School in Sammamish, WA found out that their vice principal was being fired for marrying his same-sex partner, they rallied. Students walked out of class yesterday in protest, and today administrators cancelled school because of "snow." LOL, okay.
Sleepovers are a pretty big part of growing up. They give you an opportunity to socialize, eat pizza and learn to navigate the manipulative cruelty of the real world where someone could dip your hand in warm water to make you pee at literally ANY TIME. But some jerkball parents are coming around to ruin all of that…
Rosalee Ramer, from Watsonville, CA., is a teenager on a monster truck mission. "It's something that I've dreamed about, and I'm finally doing it. Going over the jumps, sometimes 25 to 30 feet in the air, I feel like I'm flying," the 16-year-old badass — did we mention she's a badass? — said.
Please watch as some kid tells the tale of Home Alone and a pug acts it out and I laugh along, in total hysterics. (Either this video is really, really right or something is really, really wrong with me.) (Or both.) (Probably both.)
If this is what we're feeding our nation's children, we should not be surprised if they all grow up to be malnourished serial killers who only eat cat turds marinated in swamp sludge.
This was made my a second grader, but it could easily translate to many holidays spent with siblings of any age. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
The movies lied to us! It's not totally jocks vs. nerds when it comes to picking friends in school, your besties are most likely just the kids you sit near in class. According to a national study of 3,000 students at 78 high schools across the United States, found that the courses students take have a profound effect…
Amira Fortin, a six-year-old girl in Oregon, saved her choking mother's life on Friday when she quickly gave her the Heimlich, thanks to knowledge she gained from the film Mrs. Doubtfire. This is the best news.
This is both super weird and super cool!
If you were looking for the perfect way to swindle money out of our nation's clueless elite, you've been scooped. Two brainiacs in New York City just outsmarted us all by opening a service that teaches rich people's nannies to cook shit like lentils and couscous. FUCKING BRILLIANT.
This 5-years-old from Belle Glade, Fla. is basically the reason humanity exists. He might single-handedly cause me to procreate — I've been on the fence for awhile but if this is what life looks like, SIGN ME THE FUCK UP.
