"As she sits drinking lavender lemonade,*" Taylor Swift tells Vanity Fair that everyone—including, and especially, other ladies in Hollywood—needs to shut the fuck up about how many penises are/may be in orbit around her:

Long-suffering country music singer Mindy McCready was found dead via a gunshot wound to the head yesterday afternoon on her porch—the same location that David Wilson, McCready's self-declared "soulmate," took his own life almost exactly a month ago—in Cleburn County, Arkansas. She was 37. McCready's problems arguably…

OK! Magazine, which obviously rivals the Washington Post and the New Yorker in terms of quality, accuracy and general class JUST KIDDING it's basically toilet paper, reports that Brangelina are getting matching tattoos when they get married. However!

Oh, these kooks! I missed them so much! Having Britney/K-Fed drama back in my news feed isn't quite as magical as Britney/Justin/double-denim formal-wear drama, but it's still like a warm, cozy tongue kiss from the Holy Spirit or whatever. Eeeeeeeeeeeeee! And this shit is particularly good. K-Fed's brother Christopher…

In the immortal words of the classic holiday song: Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but Jessica Simpson is pregnant. It's been seven months and at least 109 headlines since the birth of Maxwell Drew and Simpson's subsequent public struggle to drop the baby weight/become a momshell/shed her human form/whatever…

After being roundly chastised for having—I mean, I guess, kind of—an opinion of sorts on the Israel-Palestine conflict and Tweeting about it, Kim Kardashian is going to make it up to the people of the Middle East by visiting Kuwait and Bahrain, and she's "determined" to learn about the conflict. She is also planning to…

When Tiger and Elin broke up, both wanted the dogs. For stars and regular Joes alike, pet custody-battles have gotten contentious and totally ridiculous. Indeed, "animal law" is a booming new field, with pet custody cases up 23%.

• More bad news for Demi Lovato: A source who worked on her summer tour says the Disney star was, "no stranger to filming her sexual exploits," and a sex tape is expected to be released soon.

Since the invention of rap, celebrities have operated under the mistaken assumption that anyone who can speak over a beat can rap. Here, we've compiled 15 of the most mortifying rhymes from stars including Tom Hanks, Miley Cyrus, and Oprah.

• Donald Trump has offered to buy the site where a Muslim group wants to build a mosque so he can move it further from ground zero and "end a very serious, inflammatory, and highly divisive situation."