A Hundred Years of Testimonies to Ketchup's Supremacy

The recently announced merger of Heinz and Kraft has prompted some to declare ketchup "a comfort food for people who never aged past wearing disposable pants, using fat pencils and shoving their dirty fists in their mouths." Jeb Lund, normally a quick-witted sage, has turned full-blown troll extraordinaire in this… »3/27/15 4:30pm3/27/15 4:30pm

Girl Eats Her Own Body Weight in Ketchup EVERY Year

We all have weird food habits. I know one girl who eats french fries with a fork and salad with her hands. I know another who eats hummus with a spoon when she doesn't gave pita bread or baby carrots and another still whose favorite snack is apple slices layered with cheddar cheese. (PSYCH, ALL OF THESE GIRLS ARE ME.)… »2/27/14 7:15pm2/27/14 7:15pm

Your Days of Pounding the Ketchup Bottle Endlessly Are Finally Over

Ketchup never seems to want to come out of its bottle. It's an age-old problem that many people claim to have solved. ("Hit the '57' on the bottle three times with the heel of your hand!" "Stick a knife up in there!" "Use a squeeze bottle!") But now a smarty-pants at MIT seems to have fixed the problem once and for… »5/28/12 9:30pm5/28/12 9:30pm

Heinz Puts Way Too Much Thought Into Revamped Ketchup Packet

Heinz ketchup packets have looked the same since 1968, but now the company is rolling out a radical new design. The new "dip and squeeze" packets hold three times as much ketchup and they can be squeezed out one end, or the foil can be pulled back for dipping. It seems like a simple concept, but for some reason it… »9/20/11 2:35pm9/20/11 2:35pm

It's been a few months since Heinz pulled its "gay kiss" mayonnaise ad and now, just to pr
It's been a few months since Heinz pulled »8/27/08 2:30pm8/27/08 2:30pm its "gay kiss" mayonnaise ad and now, just to prove to the world that they like chicks, they have come up with a showing chicken and potatoes arranged to look like a seductive, voluptuous woman. Appetizing, no? We can just imagine the cracks made over at Heinz HQ over this…

"My Girlfriend Has Had Four Abortions. Is That A Lot?"

It's time for another installment of Pot Psychology, the "advice" column in which we attempt to solve everyone's problems with an herbal remedy. (Remember, kids: Don't do drugs!) In this very special Summer Jamz at the Jerzey Shore episode, the Stevie B to my Stacey Q, Rich, helps me answer questions about fisting,… »7/18/08 4:20pm7/18/08 4:20pm