Pastel Suits, Rose Mullets, and a Thousand Miss Kentuckys at The Derby

This Saturday marked the 141st running of the Kentucky Derby, an event near and dear to my heart because I am from Kentucky and... I went to the Derby one time. It was cool! Anyway, this year’s race was host to a record-breaking crowd of over 170,000 mint julep-totin’, fancy hat wearin’ Southerners and a bunch of… » 5/04/15 4:45pm Monday 4:45pm

Rand Paul Is Running for President, Selling Some Awesomely Weird Shit 

Senator Rand Paul, a Kentucky man who seems markedly less crazy than his crazy old dad, is set to announce his run for the President of the United States today. Paul, who is anti-abortion, anti-birth control, somewhat anti-vaccination, and a quiet fan of frothing conspiracy theorist radio host Alex Jones, is still… » 4/07/15 9:50am 4/07/15 9:50am

Police Department Wants to Arrest Elsa Because of All the Fucking Snow

Poor Elsa of Arendelle! Just when she thought that it was safe to come out of her ice castle and build a snowman with her cloyingly perky sister, the police department of Harlan, Kentucky has issued a warrant for her arrest. Do you want her dead or alive, Harlan, Kentucky? And how much do I get for turning her in? » 2/20/15 9:30am 2/20/15 9:30am

Christian Teen Would Rather Drop Out of Big Race Than Wear Number 666

A Kentucky high school runner recently cut her season short when she opted not to run in regionals. She wasn't injured, or sick, or tending to a family emergency. No, she dropped out of the race because she was assigned the number 666 and thought that if she ran wearing that number, it would threaten her relationship… » 11/06/13 3:30pm 11/06/13 3:30pm

Ashley Judd Reportedly Elbowed Out of Senate Race by Scheming Democrats

Good news for those waiting for season two of Netflix's House of Cards: the political maneuvering going on behind the scenes in Kentucky allegedly rivals Francis Underwood's best laid plans. Former Judd adviser Jonathan Miller believes that Ashley Judd was dissuaded from challenging Senate Minority Leader Mitch… » 4/01/13 10:50am 4/01/13 10:50am

Ashley Judd's D.C. Speech Already Being Picked Apart, Natch

Ashley Judd was under a microscope during a 90-minute appearance at a George Washington University student forum, ostensibly to speak about public health but, for all practical purposes, to continue establishing herself as a serious candidate to challenge Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell next year in Kentucky. » 3/02/13 5:15pm 3/02/13 5:15pm

Conservatives Run Attack Ad Against Ashley Judd Even Though She Isn't…

Ashley Judd, staunch feminist and delightful human being, is still just barely "mulling" a 2014 senate run against Kentucky Republican Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (Cliff's Notes: It is currently February of 2013)—but that didn't stop conservative Super PAC American Crossroads from firing up a big dorky… » 2/07/13 9:30am 2/07/13 9:30am

Missing Los Angeles Toddler Found in Kentucky Being Pushed in a…

On Thursday, campus police officers at the University of Kentucky let their well-honed law enforcement instincts lead them to the discovery of a 17-month-old girl named Alouette Day-Moreno-Baltierra, who, until her fateful rescue from the windblown quadrangles of Lexington, had been missing from her home in Los… » 12/30/12 3:00pm 12/30/12 3:00pm

Church Bravely Reverses Its Ban On Interracial Couples

The racial views of the members of the Gulnare Free Will Baptist Church in Kentucky evolved about 60 years in the past week, and all it took was a massive outpouring of shock and rage from people around the world. Yesterday, a week after nine people voted to pass a ban on interracial couples at the church, the… » 12/05/11 10:30am 12/05/11 10:30am

Church Stands Up For What It Believes In, Bans Interracial Couples

Apparently, Jesus has been horribly misquoted for roughly 2,000 years. While everyone thinks he was a fan of loving your neighbor as you love yourself, what he actually meant is that you should love your fellow man as long as his skin isn't a different color than yours. Thankfully, there's a small church in Kentucky… » 12/01/11 10:50am 12/01/11 10:50am

Sometimes You Just Have To Leave The Baby Behind

We now know how things would go down in a real-life Home Alone situation. Rather than being left in his parents' mansion as they jetted off to France, a forgotten child wound up in a parking lot while his dad drove home with the groceries. While leaving a Kentucky Kroger, a dad loaded his bag and his two kids into his… » 12/01/11 9:50am 12/01/11 9:50am