Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, Lindsay Lohan's gotta blow off her obligations on the set of every single movie she's worked on for the last five years. In other words, if you play with fire, fire is probably gonna do drugs and drink Red Bull all night and wake up at 4 PM in a bed at the Four Seasons, trying to…

This weekend, Katy Perry will make her first appearance on Saturday Night Live as a host, and she's apparently preparing for the event by asking hubby Russell Brand for tips. Note to Katy: you're married to the man and that's the best British accent you can pull off? Anyway, she looks cute in her new blonde hair and…

• Lindsay Lohan drove her Maserati through Hollywood at high speeds over the weekend, and was stopped by cops for running a red light. [Socialite Life]

• Lindsay Lohan has returned from India!

• At an Oscar party, Madonna congratulated ex-husband Sean Penn on his win. Penn reportedly gestured at Jesus Luz and said: "Thanks. Another kid already?" [The Sun]

• It's Oscar night, kids, and you know what that means: a night of fashions, possible upsets, long speeches cut off by orchestra music, and my mother calling to ask me where Billy Crystal is. [CNN]

Fergie and Quentin Tarantino had a joint birthday party last night at the Mirage Hotel in Vegas. According to Us, Josh Duhamel, Daryl Hannah, Vivica A. Fox and Nelly were in attendance. WTF all around! • Star dug up some less than lady like pics of George Clooney's girlfriend, Sarah Larson. If you want to see Sarah…