Wedding Diets Are Evil and Just Make Women Feel Like Shit

It took more than a year of wedding planning, but it finally happened: I snapped and started frantically scanning the Internet for weight-loss schemes. A couple of unflattering pictures from a bridal shower and I basically blacked out and woke up a half an hour later, hovering over the "buy" button on a Groupon juice… » 3/25/14 2:20pm 3/25/14 2:20pm

Kate Middleton's Palace Decorating Scheme WILL NOT DO

Today in "British royalty being incredibly relatable," Kate Middleton will be soon be redecorating her Kensington Palace home despite having just finished a renovation that cost £1 million in taxpayer money. According to The Daily Mail, the Duchess of Cambridge is unhappy with the color scheme she chose last year prior to … » 3/05/14 4:15pm 3/05/14 4:15pm

This Week in Tabloids: Another Lady Quits The Bachelor ('He's a Jerk')

Welcome back to Midweek Madness! Every Wednesday, Callie Beusman skips to the newsstand to procure the celebrity weeklies (In Touch, Ok!, Us, Star, Life & Style) and together we peruse these silly nursery rhymes of gossip. This week: Kate Middleton is pregnant with a little princess; Juan Pablo is a "jerk" and an "asshole," … » 2/19/14 3:45pm 2/19/14 3:45pm

Duchess Kate's Skirts Are Too Short for the Queen's Taste

The Queen of England isn’t much into knees, especially those belonging to Kate Middleton. Her highness recently sent down a “dictum” on how the Duchess of Cambridge should dress for her upcoming tour of Australia and it included a lot of longer skirts and old timey jewels. » 2/03/14 10:20am 2/03/14 10:20am

This Week in Tabloids: Khloe Kardashian Is Pregnant! Who's the Daddy?

Welcome back to Midweek Madness! Every Wednesday, Callie Beusman ventures out to the newsstand and picks up the latest issues of Ok, In Touch, Star, Life & Style and Us, so that together we may inhale the aromatic fragrances of gossip. This week: a Defense of Duck Dynasty; Her Majesty The Queen of England weighs in on… » 1/15/14 3:30pm 1/15/14 3:30pm

Is Prince William Just a Big, Dumb Queue-Cutter?

As part of his preparations to shoulder his royal responsibilities, Prince William will shortly be heading up to Cambridge for a 10-week course in agricultural management. Not everybody's keen on the idea, though, and I'm not talking about Kate pouting over being stuck alone with Prince George. » 1/03/14 5:45pm 1/03/14 5:45pm

Prince Harry's Maybe-Future-Fiancée Is Made Of Mystery and Scrunchies

Cressida Bonas is dating Prince Harry. This ostensibly makes her interesting, or, at least, more interesting than a Normal like you or I, and ostensibly means that now, in anticipation of her possibly marrying Prince Harry at some indeterminate point in the future, there are Facts about her that we must know.… » 12/26/13 6:30pm 12/26/13 6:30pm

We'll Never Be Royals: How Will and Kate Text in Our Peasant Dreams

Earlier today, jurors in the British phone hacking trial listened to personal voicemails left by Prince William to his wife Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge. It's pretty fucked up that anyone hacked into a couple's personal calls, but now that messages are public, we can't help but be little disappointed at how dull they … » 12/19/13 7:00pm 12/19/13 7:00pm

'Portrait Artist of the Year' Paints Pregnant Duchess Kate in a Bra

Kate Middleton just can't catch a break*. From the horrifying authorized portrait earlier this year to this frightening rendition of Kate in lingerie she probably purchased at the clearance rack at Ross Dress for Less. The latter (shown above) is from the loins of the imagination of 25-year-old portrait artist Nick… » 12/12/13 9:30am 12/12/13 9:30am

Kate Middleton's Hairdresser Fired for Committing Hair Treason

Some fool has betrayed the most important member of the Royal Family, namely, Kate Middleton's hair. According to reports, Kate Middleton, the human host of Kate Middleton's hair, has fired her hair stylist James Pryce. The man's crime: posting hundreds of pictures of the Duchess in various hairstyles to Facebook and… » 11/26/13 9:09am 11/26/13 9:09am

This Week in Tabloids: Kim Kardashian's Weight-Loss Secret Is Surgery

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Callie Beusman assists as we endure the torture of reading celebrity tabloids, checking out the new issues of In Touch, Ok!, Life & Style, Us and Star. This week, Jennifer Aniston is sad and lonely again; Angelina Jolie hates Sandra Bullock; and Kim Kardashian is seeing a… » 11/20/13 3:45pm 11/20/13 3:45pm