In this week's compilation of pop culture crap, Whoopi Goldberg farts on Barbara Walters, Billy Bush pick pockets Oprah, and Kara DioGuardi gets high on Paula Abdul's pot brownies.

Kara DioGuardi is releasing a memoir on April 26, and inside she reveals that she was molested as a child and date-raped by a well-known music producer. When she was 11 years old, DioGuardi says a family friend's son in his late teens repeatedly abused her: "On one particular day, he took me into the back shed of his…

• Mark Ruffalo told GQ that Pennsylvania's Office of Homeland Security put him on a terrorist watch list for promoting the anti-natural gas drilling documentary GasLand. The bureau is denying everything, and Mark says it's all "pretty fucking funny."

• After trashing a hotel room and passing out naked due to drugs an "allergic reaction," Charlie Sheen has decided to return to rehab. "That's his plan right now. He knows he has to do something," says a source.

• Kanye West took to Twitter to explain his actions at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards: "I am not a bad person. Even in that moment I was only trying to do good but people don't always need my help."

• Footage of Mariah Carey performing on Saturday in São Paulo, Brazil has set off a new round of speculation on the state of her uterus.

• After serving only 14 days of her jail sentence, it looks like Lindsay Lohan won't be spending a full 90 days in rehab either.

• Oh, dear. Bristol Palin has reportedly called off her engagement to Levi Johnston:

• Staff at the hotel where Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr spent their honeymoon claim that Orlando openly talked about his wife's pregnancy:

• Today on Howard Stern's radio show Ryan Phillippe said, "I've been dumped on in the press for relationship stuff since Reese Witherspoon and I divorced. I'm tired of getting shit on, I don't feel like I deserve it..."