CANNES, FRANCE - MAY 19: Actors Justin Timberlake and Carey Mulligan attend the 'Inside Llewyn Davis' Press Conference during The 66th Annual Cannes Film Festival at Palais des Festivals on May 19, 2013 in Cannes, France. (Photo by Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images)

Match.com enthusiast Martha Stewart cannot, for the life of her, remember why she didn't try to go down to Pound Town back in her days as a preppy young thing who worked at a pastry shop outside a Ralph Lauren store in Connecticut and occasionally sold Hubbell Gardner scones or whatever. Lady, I feel THAT.

Ohmaaaaagaaaaa, Channing Tatum and Joseph Gordon Levitt are in talks to be cast as the Guys — Skye Masterson and Nathan Detroit respectively — in the Fox remake of Joseph L. Mankiewicz's 1955 movie musical Guys and Dolls. Which is kind of as perfect as it's gonna get without old-school Marlon Brando steaming up the…

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Aaaahahahahahahah. Look at his little face! Justin Timberlake and wife Jessica Biel spent some time with Barack and Michelle Obama at the White House today. Justin was there to participate in a student workshop called "Soulsville, USA: The History of Memphis Soul." Everyone was pumped.

The same week it's been reported that Madonna's net worth is about $1 billion bones, someone's dug up one of Madge's eight siblings, Anthony Ciconne, a homeless alcoholic who's been living on the streets of Traverse City, Michigan for the last three years and basically drinking himself to death.

After Sarah Jessica Parker called the AnnaSophia Robb-starring Sex and The City prequel The Carrie Diaries "odd," money-making enthusiast MAJOR Carrie Diaries fan Candace Bushnell hit back at SJP for being an old cronehag who doesn't understand how the world works.

Sometimes-actress, always-perfectly-symmetrical-faced-human being Jessica Alba wrote a book called The Honest Life: Living Naturally and True to You. She is marketing it as "like GOOP, but for Poors like you and me."

Dear Justin Timberlake,

This is so crazy, it might just work. Or not? You tell me. Regardless, I was dancing my ass off to the song — and I'm kinda craving the sandwich. Anyone else??