Twinkies Are Back, and They're Coming for Bros

Twinkies are back. No one should be surprised. It's obvious that the Twinkie would reemerge from the maws of death like a creme-filled Lazarus because each Twinkie is built to outlive us all. After the apocalypse, the Cockroach King's palace will be built out of Twinkies. He will sleep on a bed made out of a Big Mac. » 7/15/13 2:20pm 7/15/13 2:20pm

Junk Food in Schools Isn't Actually Making Kids Fat

Here's a little something for you from the department of counterintuitive findings: It turns out that selling junk food in schools doesn't actually have anything to do with making kids being obese. Are you fucking kidding me? After the countless hand motions we've all wasted scrolling through articles urging us to… » 1/24/12 12:15pm 1/24/12 12:15pm

Junk Food Addiction As Real As Drug Addiction, But Less Cool

A growing body of evidence indicates that there's a reason it's so hard for so many people to just stop eating junk food— it's just as addictive as illegal drugs. This changes everything. Chocoholism is real, and it's no laughing matter, Cathy cartoons. All those songs you thought were coded odes to heroin and… » 11/02/11 1:20pm 11/02/11 1:20pm

Sad Sacks Rejoice as McDonald's Launches In-Restaurant TV Channel

America is suffering from a current lack of screens on every possible fucking surface, says no one. So it's no surprise that McDonalds is getting in on the action by launching its own in-restaurant TV channel, so its patrons taking comfort in their sandwiches made of chemicals designed to approximate meat and… » 10/18/11 12:20pm 10/18/11 12:20pm

What If Candy Bars Were Named For What They Really Are?

College Humor dreamed up these very-realistic names for iconic candies we all know and love. But we do have a few additions: "Stuck In My Braces" for Swedish Fish, "What's That Sore In My Mouth?" for Warheads, and the "You Broke My Dental Work" for JuJu Bees (true story). You could probably substitute the name "It's… » 8/23/11 7:15pm 8/23/11 7:15pm