Why in the World Would John McCain Tell Mitt Romney to Pick Sarah Palin for His Running Mate?

Today, Arizona Senator John McCain told CBS This Morning that it's time for Rick Santourm to drop out of the race for the GOP Presidential nomination so Mitt Romney can get to focusing on the important stuff — like picking Sarah Palin as his running mate. Since John McCain probably hasn't forgotten about that one time… »4/04/12 3:40pm4/04/12 3:40pm

GOP Candidates Vow to Force Pregnant Women to Have Babies

The campaign in South Carolina is heating up, says everyone. That's apparently code for "the candidates are gathered in the roughly same geographic area, and they're emitting high pitched shrieks at each other." Yesterday, they were shrieking about Bain Capital. Today, they're still hollering about Bain, but they're… »1/12/12 4:10pm1/12/12 4:10pm

Mitt Romney, Weirdo, Has Silky Skin, Reasonable Views

Every week, it seems we learn something new and weird about Mitt Romney. He's got lingering beef with Eliza Dushku's mom. He's got like 27 houses. His sons are unsettlingly hot, in a steaming white bread out of the oven kind of way. He's protested against the protesters of the Vietnam War when he was in college. And… »1/09/12 5:00pm1/09/12 5:00pm

How To Get Totally Famous By Trolling Republican Presidential Candidates

Watch out, kissing babies and candidates saying how madly in love they are with the troops— this election cycle, there's a new bit of daily drudgery in town— relentless trolling of candidates by non-supporters whose totally surprise questions for the candidates are captured on video. While many stunts have already… »1/03/12 12:25pm1/03/12 12:25pm

Your Handy Guide To Presidential Candidate Dickery

That scrappy ragtag gang of hateful losers who want to be the Republican nominee for President gathered together to talk at America last night in the last debate of the year. And, like in every other televised argument these clowns have had, they used their respective opportunities in the spotlight to remind America… »12/16/11 11:00am12/16/11 11:00am

Jon Huntsman's Daughters Follow A Hit With A Miss

Jon Huntsman's daughters' latest viral offering for their father's candidacy is "Huntsman's Back," a little ditty to the tune of Justin Timberlake's hit song. Unfortunately — and we say this as fans of the ladies — it is not very good. While the girls' parody of Herman Cain's bizarre smoking ad was praised as… »12/02/11 10:10am12/02/11 10:10am

We Nominate Jon Huntsman's Daughters For President

The lone reasonable-seeming candidate in the whackadoo 2012 Republican presidential field seems to be former Utah governor Jon Huntsman, and even though he looks like a Mormon Billy Bob Thorton and hasn't publicly disavowed science, he's failed to make enough of an impression on voters to poll above the single digits.… »11/03/11 5:00pm11/03/11 5:00pm

Huntsman's Daughters Parody Cain's Ridiculous Smoking Ad

Most of what we've heard from the Republican presidential candidates makes us want to fashion tinfoil hats and barricade ourselves in our bedrooms. However, the one silver lining is the unintentionally hilarious commercial put out by Herman Cain's campaign manager. Now Jon Huntsman's daughters have put out a parody ad »10/30/11 8:35pm10/30/11 8:35pm

The 10 Assiest Moments From Last Night's Republican Debate

The latest in a seemingly neverending series of fall debates between 2012 Republican presidential nominee hopefuls, last night's debate featured every candidate flying their asshole flag loud and proud. Even though the night was teeming with stupid, here are ten moments that outshone the others in their sheer… »10/19/11 11:40am10/19/11 11:40am