You know how sometimes I phrase headlines in an exaggerated, absurdist way to make them funnier? This isn't one of those times. Gwyneth Paltrow literally has a cocoon. Apparently it's a new style of yoga that's been proven to cure richladyii boredeosis, wherein participants twist themselves up in a silk hammock several …

Just days after Us Weekly editor Janice Min urged the public to stop the single-minded "mom shell" mentality—criticizing celebrities like Hilary Duff and Bryce Dallas Howard for not dropping postpartum weight fast enough—it should come as no surprise that the woman that Goop Paltrow credits for getting rid of her…

NEW YORK, NY - JUNE 10: Nick Jonas and John Stamos attend the 66th Annual Tony Awards at The Plaza Hotel on June 10, 2012 in New York City. (Photo by Ilya S. Savenok/Getty Images)

In this weekend edition on Tweet Beat, John Stamos thinks dating Bob Saget is the best April Fools joke of all, Nathan Fillion has a Caddyshack moment, Kelly Cutrone wants to hang out with Stevie Nicks (don't we all) and Aubrey O'Day is the meat in a nightmare sandwich.

In 1983, years before he would become Uncle Jesse, John Stamos was shilling Neet hair remover. Look at that floppy hair! Look at that mug! What girl could resist young Stamos' campaign to ban the razor? And do you think he still loves a Neet girl?

John Stamos is on an endorsement spree. First he unleashed the John Stamos Guide To Cuddling to the world, and now he's endorsing a new brand of Dannon yogurt. We think we know the ad company's thought process: Who's a good-looking celebrity who's also known for being Greek? How about that Jesse Katsopolis…

"If you truly want to win over a woman, the real key is the cuddle," says the timelessly handome John Stamos in his video tutorial explaining his patented "Stamos Snugglefest." His silly moves include The Stamos Soother, The Stamos Spoonful, and The Stamos S'Touching (Her With Your Fingers); and his advice is pretty…

Today in Tweet Beat, we're left wondering if hell has frozen over given Michael Lohan's recent tweet. Plus, Ice-T and his doggy's style.

• The National Enquirer reports that John Travolta's Vermontian resort getaway was semi-secret, and that Kelly Preston was not there. Travvie and his guy-pals were "very discreet," a source told the Enquirer. "You could tell they didn't want to be seen."

• Christina Aguilera had an "understanding" with Jordan Bratman that she was allowed to sleep with women, according to a source. Since their split, Christina has reportedly taken her friendship with Samantha Ronson "to the next level."