John Cleese will star alongside former Baywatch stars Pamela Anderson and David Hasslehoff in a film version of the 90s TV series. But there's a catch—the filmmakers can't use the name "Baywatch" in the film. At all.

John Cleese turns 74 today, which is great because it gives us all an excuse to enjoy this clip from the Life of Brian and contemplate all the wonderful things the Romans have done for us.

We already informed you of the upcoming Pitt/Jolie vs. Theroux/Aniston matrimonial potato-sack race late last night, but figured it was news worth repeating.

• Whitney Houston is having daily prayer meetings to get her through this difficult time. She has said of her imperfect show in Birmingham:

Today in Tweet Beat, Michael Lohan is like school in summer—he's got no class. Also, Denise Richards implies that she'll one day spill the beans about all of Charlie Sheen's bullshit, and Jay Manuel's tan is real.

• Avril Lavigne has officially filed for divorce from Sum 41's Deryck Whibley.

• Jon Gosselin brought his daughter a birthday cake that read, "Happy Birthday Maddy" today. The only problem? Her name is spelled "Mady." But it's not "Johnathon's" fault: Entertainment Tonight ordered the cake for him.

• Late last night, TMZ published a report claiming that Maya Angelou had been taken to the hospital. However, a CNN news editor,Saeed Ahmed, posted on his Twitter page that Angelou's literary agent says the hospital rumors are false. [DetroitFreePress]

• Last night, David Letterman revealed that a CBS News employee is accused of trying to extort $2 million from him because he had sexual relationship with female employees.

• Nene of Real Housewives Of Atlanta has written an autobiography called Never Make The Same Mistake Twice. She gets real snippy about her "friend" Kim Zolciak, saying:

• Angelina Jolie, as you may know, was in Baghdad yesterday. Saint Angelina walked through a makeshift settlement where 20,000 displaced Iraqis live, and said:

• A rep for Chastity Bono—the child of Sonny and Cher—confirms that Bono is in the initial stages of transitioning from female to male.

• The National Enquirer claims that Mel Gibson sat his kids down and informed them that his Russian girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, is pregnant with his child, and they aren't too happy about it.

• Etta James says when she was ripping Beyoncé about singing "At Last" for the President, "I didn't really mean anything…"

This morning, we briefly touched on Barbie Orr, John Cleese's girlfriend who claimed to be 27 years old. Turns out Ms. Orr is actually 45. So why did she shave 18 years off her age?

• Lindsay Lohan is reportedly in talks to play the title role in a modern day adaptation of "Snow White" called The Stepsister Scheme. Megan Fox and Miley Cyrus are also allegedly up for roles. [ShowbizSpy]

• Oprah asked Jennifer Aniston about calling Angelina's behavior "uncool." Jen said she was merely responding to the reporter's question. "I basically just answered it as honestly as I could." Plus, did you know that her flick, Marley And Me, is opening the same day as Brad Pitt's The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button? […

• OMG. This may make you hyperventilate: Mad Men's Jon Hamm is in talks to do a multi-episode arc on 30 Rock. The man known as Don Draper could be Liz Lemon's neighbor and a potential love interest for Tina Fey's character. Breathe. Just breathe. [EW]
• Jennifer Lopez sued her first husband, former waiter Ojani Noa, for…