Jill Kelley's Probably Not Writing A Petraeus Tell-All (Yet)

Socialite Jill Kelley, an integral part of the David Petraeus-Paula Broadwell-shirtless FBI agent-General John Allen bee's nest of upper-echelon fuckery, sat by the window for awhile and reflected. But the Daily Mail reported yesterday that Kelley had begun to meet with publishers to discuss releasing a book about the… »12/08/12 2:40pm12/08/12 2:40pm

Jill Kelley Loses That Honorary Diplomat Title She Kept Bragging About

Jill Kelley, the Florida recipient of threatening emails from David Petraeus mistress Paula Broadwell who requested diplomatic protection from the media even though she is a voluntary social coordinator for a military base, has had her "honorary consul" title revoked by the South Korean embassy on the grounds that the… »11/27/12 5:40pm11/27/12 5:40pm

The Real Story Behind the Petraeus Affair: Bitches Be Crazy

If you were an alien from another planet trying to get a sense of how humans are, and the only information you had were news reports about David Petraeus's affair with Paula Broadwell, you'd rightfully conclude, based on available data, that female humans are batshit insane. And now that actually relevant information… »11/20/12 2:00pm11/20/12 2:00pm

Paula Broadwell And Jill Kelley Have Both Visited The White House a Few Times

Since we inexplicably still care about this, I guess, both of the women with whom David Petraeus had his sexual dalliances have been over in the vicinity of WHOTUS (I keep trying to make WHOTUS happen; it's not going to happen) in the last few years. The only real-ish gossip here is that Tampa "socialite" Jill Kelley,… »11/17/12 4:00pm11/17/12 4:00pm

The Shirtless FBI Agent's Shirtless Photo Was a Joke (and Not a Sexy Joke)

The Seattle Times has identified the FBI agent who set off the Petraeus sex scandal by contacting Congress after Jill Kelley told him she was receiving threatening emails. As we all know, the mysterious man in question also sent a scaaaandalous shirtless photo to Kelley, a longtime friend. Except, as it turns out,… »11/15/12 4:20pm11/15/12 4:20pm

Why Is Nobody Asking Whether David Petraeus Is a Honey-Hungry Dickzilla in Heat?

That's what I'd like to know!!! And I think the American people deserve the truth. If David Petraeus is really the "decorated general" and "guy with a wife" he claims to be, then how is it that he wickedly bewitched the Inboxes of not one but TWO busy, high-profile women? Which is it, Petraeus? Are you a family man or… »11/14/12 5:25pm11/14/12 5:25pm

A Guide to Understanding the Increasingly Convoluted Petraeus Sex Scandal

Twenty to thirty thousand emails, shirtless photos, illicit sex ("under" a desk, no less): are we sure the Petraeus scandal isn't actually a viral marketing campaign for the next season of Gossip Girl? If you haven't been paying attention to the still-developing drama (we're expecting a secret pregnancy to break this… »11/13/12 11:40am11/13/12 11:40am