All creatures great and small, the lord god made them all. (And is particularly fond of this pug boxer's ass.) Read… 6/13/13 11:10am 6/13/13 11:10am

Last month, Armani, a lady anteater at the LEO Zoological Conservation Center, gave birth to little Archie and mystified zoologists/the world, who had taken it upon themselves to cockblock Armani from their male anteater, Alf. Time-wise, Armani would have conceived when Alf was safely locked away in a separate pen. Read… 5/18/13 5:30pm 5/18/13 5:30pm

Jesus died for our sins — so we better make 'em worth it. There's no better way to honor the heavenly bodies rising (from the heavens?) than by binging on bulk bins filled with wax-chocolate bunnies the size of toddlers. GOD BLESS. Read… 3/29/13 3:40pm 3/29/13 3:40pm

After it was discovered that she was pregnant, Teri James, an unwed 29-year-old woman, was fired from her job at San Diego Christian College for having premarital sex. As bullshit as it sounds, the school did have the right to terminate James — she had signed an employee contract that stated that "sexually immoral… Read… 3/04/13 5:10pm 3/04/13 5:10pm

So you met this really nice guy, and it's been going great. You talk all the time, he really seems to "get" you, you've let him into your heart, you've been getting into some pretty kinky shit (not to go all TMI, but there's some cannibal roleplaying involved). And then, yesterday, out of nowhere he just sort of casually … Read… 9/19/12 11:20am 9/19/12 11:20am

When one talks about being in the right place at the right time, that place isn't usually a cemetery. Yet that was exactly where 21-year-old Jaymisha Pires was this weekend with a friend when she saw a man starting to slice the arms of a young boy with a sharp object. The man turned out to be 30-year-old Joseph… Read… 4/30/12 11:55pm 4/30/12 11:55pm

My pussy feels like Judas, complicated and primed for betrayal. What biblical figure does your pussy feel like? Read… 2/06/12 12:10pm 2/06/12 12:10pm

Not feeling terrified enough today? This clip from the 1950's children's program Andy's Gang, featuring a dead-eyed cat pianist, should be a quick and effective remedy. Read… 1/05/12 7:50pm 1/05/12 7:50pm

If you thought Fox News was going to take a break from being completely obnoxious for the holidays, you were sadly mistaken. In a move that can only be described as asinine, Fox Latin America put up a poll on Facebook asking their followers who they thought was responsible for the death of Jesus Christ. Here were the… Read… 12/29/11 10:45pm 12/29/11 10:45pm

Christmas falls on a Sunday this year, which, in my day, would've meant killing two birds with one stone and only having to go to church once this week. But not in 2011, The Year of the WTF. Rather than rolling out the red carpet for Baby Jesus's magic birthday, some churches are actually canceling or scaling back… Read… 12/23/11 6:00pm 12/23/11 6:00pm

Women wear heels for many reasons — to look long-legged, to stand at eye level with taller men, because they have Barbie feet. I, for one, wear heels so that if I'm attacked while walking to or from the train, my footwear can double as a weapon, plus, "My goodness gracious, how do you not break your neck?" is a great… Read… 10/03/11 4:45pm 10/03/11 4:45pm

Evangelical voters are apparently turning away from Mitt Romney and embracing Michele Bachmann. Reason: "she speaks our code." Read… 6/07/11 9:57am 6/07/11 9:57am

"Jesus is my virtue, and Judas is the demon I cling to," Gaga sings in her new track, "Judas." The Madonna enthusiast is in her "Like A Prayer" phase, guys! Although: There are moments when it kind of sounds like she's saying "Jew, ah, ah." So maybe you can play the tune at Seder while looking for the Afikoman. In any case, as … Read… 4/15/11 7:10pm 4/15/11 7:10pm

See a preacher rid a woman of her literal inner demons after proclaiming she's a spirit named "Jezebel." How does he perform his magic? By making the poor woman throw up into a waste basket in front of a cheering crowd of people, of course! Discuss… 4/08/11 5:30pm 4/08/11 5:30pm

Working out instead of going to church actually seems like a good idea. Your body is a temple! Discuss… 3/22/11 4:45pm 3/22/11 4:45pm

Little frankfurter Jesus appears to be swaddled in ham. The Christ on a cracker jokes write themselves. Discuss… 12/06/10 11:14am 12/06/10 11:14am

Following a controversial cover that was, weirdly, apparently "a tribute to Nobel Prize-winning author Jose Saramago's The Gospel According to Jesus Christ," Playboy has canceled its Portuguese edition: Read… 7/12/10 12:25pm 7/12/10 12:25pm

Tumblr Tea Party Jesus lets Christ repeat quotes from those who claim to be his most devout followers. Apparently Jesus hates feeding hungry children as much as Rush Limbaugh, and shares Sharron Angle's harsh views on abortion. [TeaPartyJesus via Buzzfeed] Discuss… 7/01/10 7:20pm 7/01/10 7:20pm