He's got a pilot thing happening; she's working some LA-lady-comes-to-NYC-and-finds-it-not-as-warm-as-she-thought-it-was-going-to-be realness.

Is Beyoncé pregnant? Is Beyoncé pregnant? Is Beyoncé pregnant? Is Beyoncé pregnant? — The sound and the fury of the Internet, signifying nothing except not minding its own beeswax. (Also, I bet Beyoncé's not pregnant.)

Now that Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise have been away from the Xenu madness and securely ensconced in the filthy bosom of Manhattan for some time, the 7-year-old child can go about having a totally normal childhood. Which now involves ghost-designing a fashion line that's worth more than Reese Witherspoon's new…

Women's Wear Daily has published what is perhaps the hackiest celebrity profile lede in the entire history of hacky celebrity profile ledes. Are you ready? Here it comes:

In what was perhaps a nod to Chris Farley's famously jiggly Chippendales sketch, Zach Galifianakis took the stage last night on SNL wearing nothing but a blonde wig and his heart on his sleeve. He was really counting on winning the Jennifer Aniston look-alike contest, but, sadly, he didn't stand a chance, not against …

Jennifer Aniston arrives at the SELF Magazine and Jennifer Aniston celebration for Mandy Ingber's new book "Yogalosophy:28 Days to the Ultimate Mind-Body Makeover" by Seal Press at the Soho House on Tuesday, April 30, 2013 in Los Angeles. (Photo by John Shearer/Invision/AP)

So Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey had a totally low-key renewal of their wedding vows. Cannon and #dembaby Moroccan were dressed as Disney princes while Mimi and #fembaby Monroe were in princess garb. It was grillions of dollars, in Disneyland, they Vined the shit out of it, and invited Entertainment Tonight. Some…

Downton Abbey creator Julian Fellowes would have liked to give Matthew and Lady Mary Crawley a happier ending, but wasn't able to because Dan Stevens bailed so unceremoniously.

As the Rihanna bacchanal—Rihacchanal?—known as the Diamonds tour continues to suffer under the weight of four concert cancellations (Boston, March 10; Baltimore, March 12; Houston, April 15; Dallas, April 16) and late publicity appearances, the rumor mill was fed by her paparazzi-snapped exit from a Beverly Hills…

What we have here is a strapless tuxedo jacket bodice bustier and a pair of formal shorts. Nice.